Grunge Garage

[Lump]

Yes it did need to be said. I am SO glad it didn't work out. And very disappointed in my own ability to resist. I do have photos of the thing. They take up a lot less space. Maybe I'll just collect photos from now on!

Bill

Your atttitude sounds terrific Bill. We are all on your side, even as we worry about your progress. Just LOOK at how many visits there have been to this thread! You have one of the most popular threads, and long-living threads that I have seen in recent times. That's a good thing.

Hang in there, man. You can do it. ---------Lump

 

[bczygan]

Your atttitude sounds terrific Bill. We are all on your side, even as we worry about your progress. Just LOOK at how many visits there have been to this thread! You have one of the most popular threads, and long-living threads that I have seen in recent times. That's a good thing.

Hang in there, man. You can do it. ---------Lump

Hey Lump,
Most of those visits are ME checking posts and responding to them.....

 

[Omphaloskeptic]

bczygan, rather than ranting...

Posts: 174, 196, 254, 279, 287

Consider this a 'virtual dope-slap' delivered in a most compassionate manner!

 

[bczygan]

bczygan, rather than ranting...

Posts: 174, 196, 254, 279, 287

Consider this a 'virtual dope-slap' delivered in a most compassionate manner!

I'll go reread them. - Just did......you really know how to cut to the chase! I'm swallowing hard....and starting to admit some things to myself.....

 

[98TJ]

I'll go reread them. - Just did......you really know how to cut to the chase! I'm swallowing hard....and starting to admit some things to myself.....

Add 283 to that list.

My offer still stands to help pay for a roll-off. I feel that would greatly help you get rid of stuff.

 

[Coyote Red]

Yes it did need to be said. I am SO glad it didn't work out. And very disappointed in my own ability to resist. I do have photos of the thing. They take up a lot less space. Maybe I'll just collect photos from now on!

Bill

I don't really think you're stupid. In fact, I've been impressed with your insights on the problem at hand. Apologies if you feel warranted.

Bottom line I get a little frustrated because I think you could have one of the nicest storys on this forum. And that's not to suggest it isn't already a good and interesting thread.

But another pop-up? C'mon man.

 

[bczygan]

I don't really think you're stupid. In fact, I've been impressed with your insights on the problem at hand. Apologies if you feel warranted.

Bottom line I get a little frustrated because I think you could have one of the nicest storys on this forum. And that's not to suggest it isn't already a good and interesting thread.

But another pop-up? C'mon man.

I was thinking about this when I got up this morning. I am just a big baby.
Most everyone else goes about their daily tasks without needing a support group to get and keep their place clean and neat. Other people know how to make common sense decisions and avoid getting into these fixes. You don't need kudos for having a functioning house with your fridge in the kitchen...why should I? It's time to just get on with it.

 

[Wingnut65]

We all start walking with small steps until we feel comfortable to take bigger and bigger. Before long we are running, jumping and dancing. Your progress shows that you are on the right track.

Just to make you feel great about where you are today, go click the little 'First' button on the bottom of this page and go look at your pix in your post #1. See where you started and where you are today. If you had not started with the little steps, you would probably still be back at the Post #1 conditions. The support from GJ is amazing and these guys and gals are always willing to help another, if not physically, then with moral support, encouragement and ideas. And some of those ideas are better than what we would have come up with ourselves.

Keep on going and your place will amaze even yourself.

 

[Kevin54]

I was thinking about this when I got up this morning. I am just a big baby.
Most everyone else goes about their daily tasks without needing a support group to get and keep their place clean and neat. Other people know how to make common sense decisions and avoid getting into these fixes. You don't need kudos for having a functioning house with your fridge in the kitchen...why should I? It's time to just get on with it.

Bill....I guess I must get on my soapbox again but it is to just check in and see how many steps you took yesterday and to maybe try to interject a little reality check in. And as I said before I commend you. THe first two steps are admitting there is a problem, and secondly, trying to do something about it.

I don't know if you and your wife watch Hoarders on TV or mearly avoid watching it so no comparisons are drawn. One thing they say about the show is: A&E's most popular new series, "Hoarders," delves into the world of extreme hoarding, a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to collect things, Don't get me wrong as things easily get misconstrued over the internet but I am NOT say that you have a mental disorder as such, but I think we as humans ALL have some type of mental disorder to some degree. Whether it be OCD, hoarding, drug addiction, or alcohol addiction, we all have something.
But if you don't watch the show I at least recommend going to their website, which I listed below, and read through SOME things. They have one section on decluttering which may give you some pointers.

One thing is for sure though, you cannot do this alone. As I said before, you are tossing out one side and your wife is bringing in the other side. Most families have to deal with hoarding to some aspect with some family member, but in your case I'm afraid that there is two. You and your wife. So neither one of you have the other to lean on as both of you basically do the same thing.

Quite a few years back I had to clean out a few houses/apartments for a Realtor that the people were hoarders. From an outsiders viewpoint, it is not a very good thing to have to do. The things that you find under piles and piles of items just gets worse as you go until you finally get down to where the rats, mice, fleas, and other critters live. Then there are the tons of items that the people owned that we had to throw away. And from an outsiders view, most of it WAS trash or outdated articles of clothing that were in bad shape just from laying for years and years.

The very worst was when we had to clean out a 1500 sq.ft. 2 story apartment where the girl was evicted. She had so many days to remove her items and after that we came in. To cut to the chase and shorten things up, we hauled out 10 dump truck loads of "stuff". Two stories of garbage bags filled with clothes, tupperware, and kids schoolpapers. The clothes were in bad shape from mouse urine and droppings and nest built everywhere. We found dead mouse after dead mouse buried in the items. All of the school papers of her kids had been ate up by mice. The last two loads, #11 & #12 was the dump truck, pickup, and a 16' utility trailer. We hauled out 5 deep freezers, probably 6 or 7 refridgerators, and numerous garbages bags of tupperware that still had food in them. When I opened the 'fridges I lost my cookies. Still full of food and probably had been shut off for a few years. All spoiled, rotted, and juicy.

All said and done we took the last load to the dump and there was the owner loading up what she could find into the trunk of her car. A very sad sight and a reality check. She had a disorder. What was worse, I knew her sister and had dated her but everytime I picked her sister up, she always met me outside the house. reason being, her parents were the same way. When her parents passed away, two of the kids had to clean out the house. Floor to ceiling and just a pathway from one room to the other. All of this was 35 years ago when the term "hoarding" wasn't even used.

Anyways, I guess I kind of got sidetracked while typing, but just wanted to relay one of my experiences with what I came across. But bottom line is Bill, you won't be able to walk this journey alone without some outside help. Almost everyone on here is behind you 100%, and I know that 99% would stop by and help you on this journey if you were within a reasonable distance, but that is something that we can't do so we offer our support electronically. If you want to tackle this, and I believe you do by your comments about getting back to where you and your wife "used to be years ago", you need to make a phone call to a professional. If you watch the show Hoarders, at the very end they tell you how to contact them if you know someone that has a hoarding problem. You COULD POSSIBLY make this call yourself and explain that you know two people that has "the problem". But you need to face reality. Like I stated earlier the very first two steps are admitting the problem, then taking the step to do something about it. But there are more steps in the journey than the first two. I know a while back you mentioned that getting some things done and making space was getting to be exciting and you used the term "Fun". I think you realize that it is not going to be fun and you are just trying to convince yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. Whatever term you use to take another bite out of the elephant is fine. Just keep using the terms and keep chewing away.

But what I am asking, from my heart, as I do consider you a friend even though we have never met in person is please get some professional help before you bury yourself so deep that you can't see the light of day. Both for you and your wife.

35 years ago I used the term "nutjob" to describe the person whose "home" we had to clear out. That is a term that I regret to this day ever using. If 35 years ago, we had the resources and mainly the knowledge that we have today over mental disorders or sicknesses, I would have tried to get help for my girlfriends parents and her sister. A very dear friend of my wife just had to admit her parents to Assisted Living. Her parents are hoarders. The rest of the kids will not help her so she and her husband are going at the task alone of cleaning out the house. They are weeks and a few rolloffs into it and have only made a small dent. I don't know if you have kids or not, but if you do, don't leave them with the task of having to do that later in life.

Anyways, I have said all that I need to and then probably WAY too much for a community forum. And please don't get me wrong Bill. This is in no way to try to embarass you or ridicule you as I have said many times before, we are behind you 100%. The journey you are embarking on has made others look at theirself also. If anything, you ight have helped a few others by posting about your endeavor. That is good thing in itself.

So here's to you Bill Maybe our paths will pass someday.

From Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_hoarding

Compulsive hoarding (or pathological hoarding or disposophobia)[1] is the selfish acquisition of possessions (and failure to use or discard them) in excess of socially normative amounts, even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary. Compulsive hoarding may impair mobility and interfere with basic activities, including cooking, cleaning, hygiene, sanitation, and sleeping.

It is not clear whether compulsive hoarding is an isolated disorder, or rather a symptom of another condition, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder.[2]

http://www.aetv.com/hoarders/
http://www.facebook.com/Hoarders?sk=wall

 

[Kevin54]

Holy **** My apoligies to everyone I just went back andf looked and I didn't realize I ran my fingers/mouth so much

 

[Togorashi]

This is an amazing thread and hits close to home. My Mom's side of the family are all packrats. My grandfather's solution was to build another barn every few years. He died 15 years ago and I'm still cleaning stuff out. A wildfire tore through our family property this summer. We lost a shop, a barn, and a garage. My Uncle and my Mom were devastated, but I was a little relieved. Less **** for me to throw away.

We have a cousin that lives in an airplane hanger that is filled to the rafters with junk. He sleeps on a little bed in the corner. My Mother isn't so bad. Her house is clean and organized, but she has storage rooms rented all over town, filled with stuff that she'll never use.

That brings me to my Uncle. He is by far the worst. I love him. He's an amazing person, but his hoarding makes it really difficult to be a part of his life. He's a true hoarder who is also manic-depressive. He goes on these manic binges where he has all these plans and just MUST buy all this stuff in order to fulfill them. Then he gets depressed and nothing ever happens. I went into one his barns yesterday that was already filled to the brim and I couldn't get in the front door. He had it blocked with about 20 packages from UPS. He told me he had these great plans to turn the barn into a shop and that he's buying tools to do it. Well, BS. It's never going to happen. Those boxes will probably never even get opened, much less will the barn get cleaned out, which should have been the first step! He's filled 3 houses, 3 barns, a couple storage buildings, and who knows what else. All of these buildings are uninhabitable. Some of them should be condemned because of health concerns. My Uncle has chronic lung problems and I'm positive it's because of his living conditions. He's lost insurance on one of his homes because all this. I would help him if he would let me, but the shame is so great for him, his first response is to get angry. I've seen him rage at someone who simply propped up a door over a hole in the side of a shed that had needed fixing for years.

I can't stand it. It drives me crazy. I've got too much of my Dad's genetics, who is a complete OCD neat freak. I go around and clean up after my Mom and my Uncle. When they're not around, I fill dumpsters and don't tell them. Funny thing is, they never notice. There's so much junk from generations of packrats, that nothing is ever missed. Sad.

I'm really proud of you for putting yourself out there like this. You have some stones to admit what's going on and try to change your lifestyle. I wish my Uncle could get help. I think exposing yourself with this thread is a huge help. My only advice would be to get some help with the actual cleaning. Someone you trust and will not BS you. I'm really harsh with my Mom when we're going through things. She says "But I could use that for something someday." My response is always, "BS, NO, IT'S GOING IN THE TRASH! END OF DISCUSSION!" She sulks a bit, but if I let her be in control, NOTHING would ever get thrown away. You need someone there with you to call you on your BS. Good luck with your change of life. I know you can do it!

 

[flybefree]

Bill, they have a saying...a habit is a cast iron shirt, hard to get on, even harder to get off. You are not a baby, you are not a loser, you are man bravely trying to change a habit. Anyone who has ever tried to change something about themselves that has become a habit has had the same struggle. Ever tried to stop smoking? Ever tried to stop lying, eating, buying Allis-Chalmers Tractors whatever? It's not easy and you will take a few steps back. It is not for the faint of heart and you do need support as everyone has said.

Shaun

 

[bczygan]

Kevin et all,
You are all on the mark and have had some amazing experiences in this area. My mother used to use this quote: "I sometimes think that all the world is queer but me and thee, dear. And sometimes I think thee a little queer, too." It is true. We each have our ways of seeing and being in the world. And all the other people and their ways seem a little odd. Psychologists say that if you have a condition that affects your quality of life, you need help. I have had times in my life where my quality of life needed work, and I have gotten professional help. It works. You go and talk and uncover the realities you have hidden from yourself. The counselor is your sounding board and helps guide your journey from where you are, with your blinders on, to the clear crisp realistic view of where you need to be. This group is helping me in much the same way. You can change. Sometimes you need a little help to do it. I have, in the past, quit a 19 year 3 pack a day habit on my own. There is no shame in getting assistance and I will get it from the web sites suggested as well as in person as needed. At some point, even with in person counseling, the individual has to shoulder the responsibility for change himself. It is a point where they cannot avoid seeing reality anymore. And what they see, they cannot put up with anymore. And what they have to do, while it still scares them, is preferable to living they way they have.

 

[Bronson]

OK. Now, get off the internet and get to work!

 

[Omphaloskeptic]

bzcygan, from your last post, it seems that you recognize you have a problem; perhaps you even realize the severity of it. My question to you is - 'What about the wife?'. Does she have an inkling of her part in all this? Is she simply an enabler, is she afflicted with the same disorder? Is she on board or in denial? Do you have children, and if so, do you know what they honestly think about the way you and your wife live?

The reason I ask is that your home situation is not your problem alone! It involves both of you and if both of you are not committed to changing your life situation, it can lead to turmoil that is counter-productive and actions that sabotage any progress. That is why I strongly urge you BOTH to seek counseling; to become a TEAM in this Herculean effort!

 

[Kevin54]

Kevin et all,
You are all on the mark and have had some amazing experiences in this area. My mother used to use this quote: "I sometimes think that all the world is queer but me and thee, dear. And sometimes I think thee a little queer, too." It is true. We each have our ways of seeing and being in the world. And all the other people and their ways seem a little odd. Psychologists say that if you have a condition that affects your quality of life, you need help. I have had times in my life where my quality of life needed work, and I have gotten professional help. It works. You go and talk and uncover the realities you have hidden from yourself. The counselor is your sounding board and helps guide your journey from where you are, with your blinders on, to the clear crisp realistic view of where you need to be. This group is helping me in much the same way. You can change. Sometimes you need a little help to do it. I have, in the past, quit a 19 year 3 pack a day habit on my own. There is no shame in getting assistance and I will get it from the web sites suggested as well as in person as needed. At some point, even with in person counseling, the individual has to shoulder the responsibility for change himself. It is a point where they cannot avoid seeing reality anymore. And what they see, they cannot put up with anymore. And what they have to do, while it still scares them, is preferable to living they way they have.

My mom must have known your mom

No truer words spoken than about "no shame". There isn't. I promise I won't get long winded this time....really guys I won't but I tried to do everything on my own, and have always done that. Just recently I found out how much I could and couldn't do and had to seek medical help. It's not fun when you find your breaking point.

 

[bczygan]

bzcygan, from your last post, it seems that you recognize you have a problem; perhaps you even realize the severity of it. My question to you is - 'What about the wife?'. Does she have an inkling of her part in all this? Is she simply an enabler, is she afflicted with the same disorder? Is she on board or in denial? Do you have children, and if so, do you know what they honestly think about the way you and your wife live?

The reason I ask is that your home situation is not your problem alone! It involves both of you and if both of you are not committed to changing your life situation, it can lead to turmoil that is counter-productive and actions that sabotage any progress. That is why I strongly urge you BOTH to seek counseling; to become a TEAM in this Herculean effort!

Are you sure you don't have a video cam set up over here???

She is OK with what I'm doing and in denial for herself. In her mind it is all me doing the hoarding. Makes it easier for her to avoid facing her part. Of course she is not just an enabler, but an active participant. She just sent me 8 links to rummage sales for today through the weekend and other CL items from trailers to materials. She particularly wanted us to go take apart a deck today. Sure, it's a beautiful deck..........BUT!
I declined, using responsibilities to keep on working here and she was really disappointed. I could hear it in her voice. It is her way of connecting with me as she knows I love good materials and a deal at rummage sales. We will just have to find other, better ways to connect, maybe even physically and emotionally!!!
I don't know how to get her on her own path right now. Hard enough keeping myself on the straight and narrow. So many ways to fool or sabotage myself. I will keep spending time with her in the evenings so she doesn't feel abandoned by all this. She must feel threatened by the change in activities. It might be good to pay particular attention to her in the evenings, not just lay next to her pecking on the computer.
Man, it would be so much easier to just let this all slide and let things go back like they were before!!

Just finished sorting 3 big baskets of laundry that were filling up the upstairs hall for a couple years. Took them out to the van to go to the laundry. We don't usually do laundry but once a year, but rather buy new underwear and socks at KMart and clothes at the resale. This will stop.

 

[markviii]

Bill,

My heart goes out to you and your wife. Your story is very compelling. It's heartening to see that you have chosen to reach out in such a public way to the GJ community to assist you in your efforts to move forward with a monumental positive change in your lives. Getting such obvious and sincere support is important to making progress. Also, I think it's obvious that we all care about you and your family. Now that your wife has found out about this thread, she may be feeling a bit defensive and left out. Remain as positive as possible while gently trying to include her in the process. Hold each other tight every night to make the next day's baby step(s) possible. It seems that you really want this progress, so continue to take those forward steps. It will enrich both of your lives and bring you closer together in a more healthy relationship. (I don't think you'd be comfortable going back to the "old" ways - you've come a long way!)

As for taking precautions with the noxious things you may be breathing in, we have some experience with this. Husband Tom contracted blastomycosis (http://blastomycosis.ca/peopleinfo.html) and histoplasmosis ( http://www.dhpe.org/infect/histo.html).
Tom never wore a respirator to protect against breathing in the dust during the renovation of the
http://www.garagejournal.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51567 . The first page of pictures on this thread show before/after pictures. It was not an easy (or short) process beginning in November of 2005 and continuing (though not as intensely) to the present.

This fungus stuff is very serious stuff. This happened 5 years ago and luckily he listened to me, accepted help from our son, ate well and rested each night (even when he didn't really want to!). It took 3 months to get a diagnosis and we finally got a clue when our neighbor's cat died and was diagnosed by the vet clinic autopsy. Our neighbor called and told us what test to tell the infectious disease doctor to perform. Tom was off work for 5 months before he was strong enough to go back to work. All this happened because he was cleaning out all those old buildings with dead animals and bird/mouse droppings WITHOUT PROTECTION from the dust and fumes. People who renovate historic homes, hunters, gardeners, and animals that live outdoors are prime candidates for these conditions. It often mimics pneumonia or other respiratory problems. The spores are especially prevalent in the soil in the Midwest.

Continue on your journey, one day at a time.

Chris

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill the 5 drawer tool cart is gone thats 2 things gone in 2 days and $420.00 in my pocket to go towards fixing up my old ford . How many of the 18 pop ups you gonna drag home this weekend ( and sell ) .


Rick

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill I just had a wild and most likely crazy idea . Why not see if your Wife would join up here and join in on the thread much like Toms wife Chris has joined in . This might just help both of you if both of you were here getting support and encourangement and your butts ripped by all of us here . I know its a crazy idea but it just might work .


Rick

 

[markviii]

Rick,

Bill's wife might not be ready for that type of exposure (you have to admit this is fairly public - and heavily visited at >800 hits per day!), judging from her reactions so far. She has to feel like she's the center of Bill's world while he continues on his journey. Hopefully she'll come along for the ride, support him on his journey, and eventually make it their journey, like I did.

I totally shocked Tom by joining and posting on his thread. He didn't have a clue that I even knew how to get there! I think he read through two or three of my first posts without actually realizing it was me. It was sort of his "refuge", a place to share his projects. I was sort of the "invader". It took a while for him to accept my entry into this part of his world. In the end, being a member of GJ has extended our "friends and family" circle (to include the entire world) in a positive way. There's so much information on the entire board that I spend more time in other forums and on others threads than on ours (that's probably why the "test" hasn't been announced yet!). Tom doesn't have time to look on the other forums (Free Parking, General Discussion, Tools, etc,), so I forward the good stuff to him (I have to be selective, because it's all good!).

Bill, you're making great progress.

Chris

 

[bczygan]

Bill I just had a wild and most likely crazy idea . Why not see if your Wife would join up here and join in on the thread much like Toms wife Chris has joined in . This might just help both of you if both of you were here getting support and encourangement and your butts ripped by all of us here . I know its a crazy idea but it just might work .


Rick

Rick,
That might work if she wasn't the most private person that she is. The thread has helped though. I mention some parts of it from time to time as examples of responses I am getting. That can help influence her. Her biggest worry is that I will embarrass her and us by revealing ALL the deficiencies we have here like having no water for a long time because of a basement flood and pipes breaking in the winter and no heat because the flood destroyed the furnace. OOps, guess the cat is out of the bag. Well, that's OK because it is all part of the problem and now can be part of the solution.

Chris,
Thank you for reinforcing the advice on protection. As a long time smoker in my younger years I now am susceptible to things in the air. The basement, when I get to it has all kinds of black mold type stuff and upstairs has lots of rat and mouse poop. Plus we have birds (African Grey and Cockatiel) in the bedroom.

 

[rickairmedic]

Chris I will have to admit my SWMBO ( she who must be obeyed ) . Has always complained about all of the boards I belong to and " waste my time on " . We had a house fire a year ago last February and amazingly a group of guys on the boat forum I belong to got together and sent us a fairly large to me anyways " monetary contribution " to help us with hotel bills and such while we got our heads on straight . I didnt ask for help and didnt expect it to say the least . She has since then not complained once about the time I spend on all these boards .

I do agree that this is an open and public place but the positive to it is we are honestly all strangers in reality so not quite going to the town hall meeting and telling /showing all your freinds and neighbors whats been shown here . I will admit that I think of alot of folks here and on other boards as freinds and some of them very good freinds . I just figured maybe if she joined in with Bill and saw the support he is getting it might help some .


On the other hand maybe if she just particapated with him in some of the posts without actually joinging it might help as well without her feeling like she had been thrown under a buss .


Rick

 

[rickairmedic]

Billl assure her that none of us is perfect . I can tell you that I and SWMBO dont have central heat and air in the house yet since the fire and we own an HVAC company . I have the new equipment sitting in the storage container in the driveway just havent goten to it yet . I havent even shown off the worst of my garage yet ( the loft over the basement stairs ) I actually need to do that .


We all have skeletons in our closets .


Rick

 

[Nighttrain]

Keep strong and keep going. We all want to see you both get through this change.
After reading the other suggestions on trying to get the wife to buy in on “your” want to change a life style, I have a suggestion to throw out. Instead of saying to her do this, do that, clean this, stop buying that, ask her to go for a walk around the block tonight when she gets home for work. Seeing you guys just went camping, it’s obvious you both like the outdoors. Just a walk and get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. I would not say anything about changing your life style, just walk! As Chris said she is the center of your world!
I bet you guys have had a set pattern every day for the last years just like we all do. Get up, work, come home sit on couch, eat and go to bed. As a routine change for you a simple thing as a walk can maybe lead into a habit change. This walk can become a start of a routine change every day and re-focusing yours and her thoughts to a different activity which is much healthier than shopping/bargain hunting.
It is obvious that you see stuff on the internet that others are doing (13 drawer HF toolbox ,old craftsman DP) and have that need to go get and have for yourself. Try looking up some forums on walking and some type of events in the Detroit area that have dog walks etc and get you and her both interested in those and participate.
Just a thought and I as all others on here want to see you achieve your goal.

 

[bczygan]

Keep strong and keep going. We all want to see you both get through this change.
After reading the other suggestions on trying to get the wife to buy in on “your” want to change a life style, I have a suggestion to throw out. Instead of saying to her do this, do that, clean this, stop buying that, ask her to go for a walk around the block tonight when she gets home for work. Seeing you guys just went camping, it’s obvious you both like the outdoors. Just a walk and get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. I would not say anything about changing your life style, just walk! As Chris said she is the center of your world!
I bet you guys have had a set pattern every day for the last years just like we all do. Get up, work, come home sit on couch, eat and go to bed. As a routine change for you a simple thing as a walk can maybe lead into a habit change. This walk can become a start of a routine change every day and re-focusing yours and her thoughts to a different activity which is much healthier than shopping/bargain hunting.
It is obvious that you see stuff on the internet that others are doing (13 drawer HF toolbox ,old craftsman DP) and have that need to go get and have for yourself. Try looking up some forums on walking and some type of events in the Detroit area that have dog walks etc and get you and her both interested in those and participate.
Just a thought and I as all others on here want to see you achieve your goal.

Very good idea. We both need to break the TV habit. Can't even hold a conversation. But she won't walk in this neighborhood. Best bet is to take her in the morning and pick her up at work in the evening and go straight to a park. We both need the exercise as do the dogs. And the mental refreshment.

 

[bczygan]

Don't mess with momma's clothes:

Well, I got disgusted with Julie's pile of clothes in the bedroom. It was so big I couldn't get to the bird cage to feed and water him. So......I took the stack of bins of clothes from the hall, and put them downstairs. I sorted the piles of dirty clothes in 3 laundry baskets and took them out to the van to go to the laundromat. I took 3 more bins of clothes and moved them from the bedroom to the hall and stacked clothes on top. I put two bins that were under the pile, next to her dresser, and piled clothes on top. I filled a bag with the remainder. Now you can walk over to the cage.
Of course, momma ain't happy! "Now I can't find anything" she says.....
Would it help if I sorted by clothing type and folded everything I asked. I'll do it she says, but not tonight. OK I say.
There is way too many clothes to fit in her two dressers. I may sort and fold and fill them tomorrow and have less of a pile left. And I'll put the remainder in bins. Then she'll find the easiest place to go for clothes is the dressers.
The bins will disappear downstairs until we clean out the other bedroom and convert it to a closet/dressing room.
I would like to be able to walk around the end of the bed to get to my side instead of climbing over her and the cats...
Fun, eh?

 

[Coyote Red]

Don't mess with momma's clothes:

Well it's been 2 hours since you dropped this one, and there have been no takers. Guys have no answers for this. Period.

I wish you luck, and suggest you concentrate on the kitchen.

 

[rickairmedic]

Don't mess with momma's clothes:

Well, I got disgusted with Julie's pile of clothes in the bedroom. It was so big I couldn't get to the bird cage to feed and water him. So......I took the stack of bins of clothes from the hall, and put them downstairs. I sorted the piles of dirty clothes in 3 laundry baskets and took them out to the van to go to the laundromat. I took 3 more bins of clothes and moved them from the bedroom to the hall and stacked clothes on top. I put two bins that were under the pile, next to her dresser, and piled clothes on top. I filled a bag with the remainder. Now you can walk over to the cage.
Of course, momma ain't happy! "Now I can't find anything" she says.....
Would it help if I sorted by clothing type and folded everything I asked. I'll do it she says, but not tonight. OK I say.
There is way too many clothes to fit in her two dressers. I may sort and fold and fill them tomorrow and have less of a pile left. And I'll put the remainder in bins. Then she'll find the easiest place to go for clothes is the dressers.
The bins will disappear downstairs until we clean out the other bedroom and convert it to a closet/dressing room.
I would like to be able to walk around the end of the bed to get to my side instead of climbing over her and the cats...
Fun, eh?

Bill I can honestly say that theres somewhere between one and 2 fett of clothes stacked ontop of SWMBO's dresser . I mess with her over it regularly but I dont tough it . We do have an understanding though if it is between the foot of the bed and the closet which I have to walk through to get to my side of the bed then it is free game for me to do with what I wish .


Rick

 

[bczygan]

I guess I'm having a little fun with her. A dangerous game though. I'll go back to other parts of the house to be safe.

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill the bedroom door can be closed . Stick to the rooms that cant be closed off and the garage . The bedrooms are the last rooms to worry about .


Rick

 

[Grandad]

I guess I'm having a little fun with her. A dangerous game though.

Amen to that brother.

 

[couchmechanic]

Hey Bill, How are you? You really sound like you are making progress just never in the same place twice. One thing you might try is to get some colored sidewalk chalk and outline any cleared floor space you have. Once it is clear try to expand that area, say by maybe 4' square a day. If you can do more that is great but just stick to one room at a time. I have tried this one before and it seemed to work pretty well. The problem is when most people begin to get overwhelmed by the enormity of a project they will branch into other areas and not stay focused on the initial start point. We are all starters of a hundred great projects and finishers of few. If you can focus enough energy into one area continually and consistently you will be amazed at the results. Think of a magnifying glass. Not trying to start a literal fire just a motivational one. I am praying that God will magnify the work that you do and even send someone to help you. You are a great example to many here, myself included. God Bless, Couchmechanic

 

[rubberrodder]

Man, it would be so much easier to just let this all slide and let things go back like they were before!!

Bill,
I got good news and bad news. The bad news first. It can never go back to the way it was before. You have seen a different way of life and want it. To turn back now will eat at you like swallowing a live rat! I know this from experience with my own addictive behaviors.
Now the good news.
You know what to do about it! AND you are doing it. Remember some thing important. "When the pain of remaining the same becomes worse than the pain of change,then we change."
You have all our support !

 

[Kevin54]

Hi Bill. Me again. LOL!!! If I may offer a little advice or internet assistance, get one wall of your garage cleared out pronto. Plain and clear. Then get your toolboxes out there and out of the house. Reason being......I went back to page 1 and 2 of this thread. Here are your words:

Photos of stuff I forgot I had:

Some of the tools that will get out of the living room and entry and go in the garage. Microwave will go into kitchen and it will get a remodel.:

Then while you are cleaning up, put the tools in the toolbax and file cabinet while it is right there where you are working. Work smarter not harder.

So in doing so, you have cleared out the entry, the toolboxes and file cabinet is readily handy to start storing the tools. Don't worry about organizing the tools yet, just get then into some type of drawers where they go. If you have three of one tool, either grow another hand or put it in a pile beside the toolboxes to sell. For instance, just like the Wen orbital polisher, to be truthful, you can't give those away. $10 at a garage sale on a very good day. I had one and finally reduced it down to $2 just to get rid of it. I can wax a car faster by hand than with one of those. Get rid of it.

The rusted router, if it works like it should, fine...a keep. But if it is so rusty that it doesn't plunge or the internals are rusted, sell it to someone else and let it be their worry. The handsaws....you don't need that many. I imagine that you have more than one router. Probably multiples. Keep the best two and get rid of the worst. Put the good ones in the file cabinet and pile the rest beside the toolbox to sell. IF you use a handsaw, keep on or two good ones. Other than that, put them in the sell pile. Use the money from selling to get a good compound miter say if you don't have one. Very rarily do you see many carpenters use a handsaw anymore. It's old school and work intensive.

Don't get the mindset that it IS good. Get the mindset that it WAS good at onetime.

Once you have yourself cleared out back to your workbench, get the bench cleared off so you can put your smaller Kennedy boxes up there along with the plastic drawer parts bins. Any smaller tools you then come across, start putting them in the Kennedy's and parts bins. Don't worry about organizing them at this point though. They are just close to home. Organizing the toolboxes are a rainy day sit down job.

Follow this and you will have one wall in the garage cleared out, partially organized, and have made more room in the house. DO NOT put anything in the place that you cleared out in the house.

Hope this helps a tad.

 

[bczygan]

Rubberrodder,
It's all good news in my book.

Kevin,
All I have left in the living room and entry is the roller and file cabinet and a couple misc. tools. Don't have space in the garage yet. Really need to finish cleaning it OUT before adding the last items.

Just finished sorting all the wife's clothes into piles and folding the shorts, pants and shirts. SWMBO will not be happy..........but I got bigger problems than that. She wants to come home early and work from home. What that means is that she can tether her netbook to her phone and we can go out and hit a bunch of rummage and garage sales.
I am going to try to divert her to another activity, but she is pretty set on going. I am going to be Mr. downer, spoiling her fun...

Just finished blowing the leaves off the street and sidewalks. I am finding it satisfying to have a routine cleanup item like that. It keeps things in the cleaned up status quo. NICE!

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill try to nicely explain to her that you dont want to go to anymore rumage / garage sales until you have finished the house . I would highly recomend if nothing else showing her the places that have been suggested to you here in the thread to get help on the problem as honestly she seems to have as big if not a bigger problem than yourself with collecting more stuff . I say her problem may be as big as thats questionable seeing as how you were looking at a 19th popup . You may have to nicely put your foot down on new stuff comming in before you are done taking stuff out . I also highly recomend a large capacity washer and dryer in your future if you must drag something else home . This will allow you to do laundry right there when it needs to be done . I will admit there was a time ( when I waqs single ) that I did laundry once a month and did at one time have 200 plus pairs of socks alone .


This will allow you to narrow down the clothing in the house to a months supply of the nicest clothing you have . I also recomend getting bqack out to the garage and getting it done before moving onto other areas . Get one room done so that you can see what you could have in all the other rooms with some work.


Rick

 

[jam0o0]

I gotta say this shifted my focus the last few days. i just finished this thread and i wanted to say thanks. and tell a story. and try to help.

story: my family has a bit of this hording thing. it's not to the level yall have but the end result and mind set is similar. my great grandmother passed in the late 90's. she had been living alone for years. she had 'help' but no family in the upstairs of the house for a long time. after she passed it took my aunts and uncles and parents and grandparents 18 months to clean out the house. that is 2-8 people working some every day for a year and a half. a few small things i remember: she had a cigar box the was labeled 'string too short to use.' it was full. we kept the box and my grandfather keeps pictures of my great grandmother in it. we donated 2 van loads of suitcases that were too old to use to the local theater. they are still being used on stage. one entire room had only end tables and lamps. you couldn't even open the door all the way it was so full.

i have a bit of my great grandmother in me. i play with steel and i have a really hard time scrapping things. i recently got my own rental house with garage. i went to clean out one shed i had been borrowing space in and ended up scrapping 800#'s of steel. mostly old truck parts and short lengths of structural tubing. getting rid of that felt great.

you have really pushed me to clean up some of the junk i still have. i always think 'i should hold on to these cut off's. i can use them for brackets later.' and 'i should keep this part. what if the new part fails soon.' screw that. i want my space back. thanks for working so hard so i can see the need for me to work a little.

and now for me trying to give back. i **** at this so feel free to ignore me. i've noticed in a few pictures you have more than one of the same thing. do you know why you do? one example was 3 propane tanks i saw next to your grill. why do you have 3? i kinda want a real answer. give yourself a reason and tell us or let them go. i have some more of these observations if they are helpful.

 

[Meely]

hi Bill and everyone else

My first post, Ive been lurking around on here for a while a year probably but not become a member until a couple of minutes ago when I felt the very strong urge to post! You have done the hardest thing and admited you have a problem to yourself so just keep going, even if you have weeks where it doesn't go so well and you end up accumulating again it is not the end of the world you will get there just don't give up.

Maybe you could try and plan a weekly activity for you and your wife to enjoy together that isn't about spending money but relaxing and enjoying each others company and something to look forward to. My boyfriend and I try and do a decent walk with our dog each week, new route etc also go to lots of garden visits. Just what we like ourselves, there are obviously plenty of alternatives.

If I had the money I could easierly go shopping all the time but luckily I do not. I have struggled financially in the past and buried my head in the sand, someone earlier suggested a budget and I would really suggest it, I found it helped me a lot and made me feel a lot more in control and less stressed.

Anyway keep going you are doing really well

 

[rickairmedic]

Meely welcome to the garage journal and thank you for feeling that Bill needed your first post .

Bill you watchin here no backsliding your bringin them in out of the bleechers .


Rick