Grunge Garage

[bczygan]

I have responded to a kind GJ member who reached out to me and I WILL accept help.

Bill thats a HUGE STEP.

You don't know the half of it. Very hard to even think of doing.

 

[markviii]

Those demons are hard to get past, but you've made a great first step (actually several steps)!

I agree with Jeff about the computer time and the weather. I know how hard this reaching out has been for you, but since you're the one who started on this track and you're the one who's going to benefit from forward progress, that should give you some satisfaction. Just don't dwell on that as being a total success. You can make it to the end; we just don't know where/when that will be yet. The sooner the better, of course!

These next 10 days are crucial - slated to be clear (except maybe Wed. Oct 12 with 50% chance of rain ) and no lower than 60s during the day. Take positive advantage of this time. No time for anything that doesn't move you toward your goal, checking off the baby steps as you make progress.

They say confession is good for the soul and that seems to be what you started with this thread. But, I'll bet you didn't expect the reactions on your thread. You've really helped lots of GJ members wrestle with their own demons as well as think about extending a helping hand (or advice) to another person who they never met. It's amazing to see a support group form in such an unexpected way.

I know you boosted my, and I expect everyone's, spirits and support for you when you acknowledged that you would accept some of the offered helping hands. Please don't delay too long in getting started with this. There are several locals who are willing and able to help. Acknowledging that you can't do it alone is part of the healing process. We're all with you in spirit, if not with our actual presence, helping with motivation and progress.

Chris

 

[Bull]

The perception:



The reality of the situation:

I would say this is one of the most important and concise posts in this thread.

You are not in control, Bill. You are a slave to your own situation.

But you can get out of it. In fact, you must.

Keep on keepin' on.

 

[clkimmel]

You don't know the half of it. Very hard to even think of doing.

It's hard to ask for and accept help, but it is always better when it is done. You will feel so much better if you can get some of the major things accomplished (heat, water!) you won't mind you had help!

 

[rickairmedic]

You don't know the half of it. Very hard to even think of doing.

Bill I am very proud of you for accepting some help . To put into some kind of prospective how hard this must have been .


Bill came to us ( a group of people who although freindly with each other are still just a bunch of screen names and a few faces ) . He still to this point is in a safe place as nobody here really knows him or who he is or really where he lives ( He is still dealing with an anonymous group of people and is still himself anonymous ).


The idea of actually having one of these people " actually " come into his safe still pretty much private world live and in person most likely has him FREEAKING OUT big time . Heck I get embarassed having a stranger in my garage when its not up to snuff .


I personally cant even imagine the courage Bill had to drum up to be able to let his guard down and let a perfect stranger into what he himself has described as one hell of a mess .


Bravo Bill Bravo .



Rick

 

[bczygan]

The bravos go out to all of you who have so kindly helped me start, have supported me at each turn and continue to aid my every step! .......and all from anonymous strangers from all over the world. Each of you inspire me and push me, (when needed), and comfort me in this quest. And I see that same selfless quality all over this journal. It sure has raised my appreciation of my fellow human.

 

[markviii]

I'm sure you got the dumpsters filled for pick-up tomorrow. Get a good night's sleep and make more progress tomorrow.

Chris

 

[98TJ]

Jeff,
I will get counseling help when I can or if I reach a total mental impasse. Right now I'm racing weather. I have responded to a kind GJ member who reached out to me and I WILL accept help. This will SUCCEED. (I had to mentally search for that word for a moment). Even beyond my own benefit, I couldn't let all the helpful and supportive GJ members down...may not proceed as fast or smooth as some may like. But it will succeed.

Bill, my garage has been packed full of stuff. 15 years of **** that we had accumulated since we married. Most of it was mine. Tools, hobby/work related items, and other **** that finds its way into a garage.

When we moved here we had a 7x14 V-nose trailer that we used to hold all the excess ****. At the point it was out of sight and, as the saying goes, out of mind.

Then I sold the trailer to my brother. That meant all of the excess stuff had to come into the garage. I gave stuff to my brother, gave stuff to neighbors, and filled eight 42 gallon bags of hobby/work related items that I used to have a fondness for. I'm not talking cheap stuff, either. Thousands of dollars worth of stuff went to the dump in those eight bags. I could have bothered with trying to sell the stuff, but honestly, I was much happier to just get the stuff gone and have free, usable space.

Since then I've gone out at random times and pulled stuff out so I could go through boxes and get rid of the old hobby items that once had value to me. These days I have a higher value on usable space.

Today I loaded the bed of the F250 with **** from the garage and made another trip to the dump.

Keep at it, Bill.

 

[couchmechanic]

Bill I am very proud of you for accepting some help . To put into some kind of prospective how hard this must have been .


Bill came to us ( a group of people who although freindly with each other are still just a bunch of screen names and a few faces ) . He still to this point is in a safe place as nobody here really knows him or who he is or really where he lives ( He is still dealing with an anonymous group of people and is still himself anonymous ).


The idea of actually having one of these people " actually " come into his safe still pretty much private world live and in person most likely has him FREEAKING OUT big time . Heck I get embarassed having a stranger in my garage when its not up to snuff .


I personally cant even imagine the courage Bill had to drum up to be able to let his guard down and let a perfect stranger into what he himself has described as one hell of a mess .


Bravo Bill Bravo .



Rick

Dang well put! Couchmechanic!

 

[bczygan]

I promised a report and photos. I'm a few minutes past midnight. And I didn't complete the stairway. But did get more than half done. It was stacked shoulder high for 2/3 the width and the entire length, leaving a 1' wide space down and up. Now there is a stack of boxes at the top landing and top step or two and a pile still at the bottom, but I can see stairs. Photos show landing, view from top down and view from bottom up.

 

[rickairmedic]

Very Good Bill your moving in the right direction . Keep going buddy .

On a side note I walked into the bedroom earlier tonight to find SWMBO dresser ( top
) almost empty which thriiled me till I looked over at the bed . Which she then had to clear of and start putting things back ontop of the dresser . I walked in at this time and said if it doesnt fit in there maybe its time to get rid of some of them . Her dresser is twice the size of mine and its packed plus another dressers worth ontop of it .


Rick

 

[Togorashi]

I'm cleaning out and restoring some of the buildings on my family's ranch. Packrats got into one building and made a huge mess. Cleaning up rat feces is not one of my favorite things and opens me up to catch some nasty stuff. I wear a respirator and gloves. I don't like the idea of using tons of bleach, because the fumes can be just as toxic as what I'm trying to clean up.

I found this at Lowes today in a gallon jug and thought of you Bill. http://www.simplegreen.com/products_pro_3.php I plan on coating every surface with it.

 

[Grandad]

, but I can see stairs. Photos show landing, view from top down and view from bottom up.

Mate, listen, I don't know if you noticed or not, and I don't want to alarm you, but there's a very strange animal on your steps.
Are the rats wearing collars in Detroit now?

Jim

 

[Kevin54]

Very Good Bill your moving in the right direction . Keep going buddy .

On a side note I walked into the bedroom earlier tonight to find SWMBO dresser ( top
) almost empty which thriiled me till I looked over at the bed . Which she then had to clear of and start putting things back ontop of the dresser . I walked in at this time and said if it doesnt fit in there maybe its time to get rid of some of them . Her dresser is twice the size of mine and its packed plus another dressers worth ontop of it .


Rick

Didja pick your *** up off of the floor after that remark



Bill.....I saw that you changed your signature. I like it That's jut one more little step in taking the bull by the horns

 

[bczygan]

A bit of a watershed moment this morning.
As a preface to this, I have been resisting my wife's plans to go to WI to pick up another trailer. It would just be a trip too far and a trailer too many. Part of the prep for the trip was she wanted me to go get 2 new tires put on the front of the van this morning. I got the gumption up to tell her I didn't think the whole thing was going to work out. Her response was that she was disappointed in me for not going to do the tires today, as she wanted to get the tires done anyway. That was some misdirected anger. What she is really disappointed in is that we aren't going on an exciting buying adventure up north for the next two days and the weekend. I showed her the partially cleared stairs but she wasn't impressed. What she wants is some excitement, not responsibility and facing things yet. I might need to plan a small outing for the weekend. We still have some dinner coupons. I'll make a date with her for dinner out.

 

[bczygan]

Mate, listen, I don't know if you noticed or not, and I don't want to alarm you, but there's a very strange animal on your steps.
Are the rats wearing collars in Detroit now?

Jim

Yes, ......yes they are. Now if we could just tag and register the human rats here! Detroit just made the top of the list of most dangerous cities in the US.

We have 2 of those Spinx cats. They keep us warm at night.

 

[Grandad]

Detroit just made the top of the list of most dangerous cities in the US.

I find that sad mate.
I had fairly regular visits to Windsor as a teenager in the 60's. Of course, we had to cross the river into Detroit, now didn't we?
Always struck me as a fascinating city.

Good to hear you can keep your sense of humour.
That's an important thing.

Take care of yourself mate.
Cheers
Jim

 

[Kevin54]

A bit of a watershed moment this morning.
As a preface to this, I have been resisting my wife's plans to go to WI to pick up another trailer. It would just be a trip too far and a trailer too many. Part of the prep for the trip was she wanted me to go get 2 new tires put on the front of the van this morning. I got the gumption up to tell her I didn't think the whole thing was going to work out. Her response was that she was disappointed in me for not going to do the tires today, as she wanted to get the tires done anyway. That was some misdirected anger. What she is really disappointed in is that we aren't going on an exciting buying adventure up north for the next two days and the weekend. I showed her the partially cleared stairs but she wasn't impressed. What she wants is some excitement, not responsibility and facing things yet. I might need to plan a small outing for the weekend. We still have some dinner coupons. I'll make a date with her for dinner out.

Kudos to you for standing up for what you felt was right. There will be times of anger and the more you clean the more that anger will fester, so be prepared. She doesn't want the responsibility because it is not "fun". And she's not impressed at what you are doing because it is going against her grain as to what she wants to do. It's going to get rougher before it gets better Bill, but hang in there.

I'm also hoping that you get the pipe situation taken care of before winter. Some of these nights are starting to get cool, so you will need that heat fixed also. There is no crime in asking for help or even begging for help. You have many friends on here and some close to you. If they offer, please take advantage of it. They know what to expect and they asked you to accept their help. So accept it. A payback could be in the way of a huge Garage Journal get-together cookout when this is all done. I can make it to Detroit someday.

 

[weegaz22]

Good luck in what is obviously a monumental task, personally if it was me i think i would just drag EVERYTHING to a skip and start fresh, sorting through it all will take way way longer than indiscriminately binning everything, but i suppose its a fine balance between getting rid of stuff and sending your wife over the edge

 

[streetstar]

I'm only partway through this saga, - i have read the first 8 pages --- i can somewhat empathize and your committment to cleaning up your place got me thinking about my own personal clutter


I have to admit, i have a pretty big, spacious garage - which i love

But for it to be spacious and clean, i have a storage unit i rent every month full of stuff (some good, some junk) - I have spent more in 3 or 4 years than the **** is worth if i factor 100 bucks a month x 4 years -- plus my mom's barn is full of remnants from my bicycle and mini bike collecting phase . Its not really fair to victimize her because i cannot get rid of anything - plus it seems selfish

I realize my "problem" may not be a problem to some, but this thread has given me some impetus to take the bull by the horns a little bit --- sunrise is in another hour, -- i'd like to have a nutritious breakfast - then head down to my storage unit to get some work done -- i have stacks of old magazines in milk crates stacked to the ceiling - i will start with those. If i clear enough room in the storage unit i pay for --- then maybe i can get some of the stuff out of mom's barn she has been tripping over for a couple of years---

As i said, my problem may seem small, but its big to me and your thread has given me inspiration to do something about it
--- and best of luck to you in your continued endeavors to clean everything up a bit, OP

 

[jeffmoss26]

I'm pulling for you here Bill. Keep up the good work!

 

[flybefree]

Bill,

Hold on tight to her as you lead her...good idea on a date night.

Pulling/praying for you.

Shaun

 

[rickairmedic]

Didja pick your *** up off of the floor after that remark



Bill.....I saw that you changed your signature. I like it That's jut one more little step in taking the bull by the horns

Kevin Beleive it or not she actually agreed with me . She talks about my mom and grandmother on a regular basis as being hoarders . Soooo seeing those same tendancies in herself makes her think more clearly .I would bet that goodwill get a nice donation before the end of the month .


Rick

 

[bczygan]

Another kind GJ member has contacted me and volunteered to help, and more importantly to help keep me in line and moving toward goals with a vengeance! I'm in for it now...!

 

[tinbender 66]

It's good to see you back at it Bill!! And way to go on resisting the other trailer.

 

[bczygan]

It's good to see you back at it Bill!! And way to go on resisting the other trailer.

It's just a dull memory of something that would have been more of a burden than a benefit. Wife is still calling out for it, but I'll redirect her.

 

[mdbeck1]

I'm cleaning out and restoring some of the buildings on my family's ranch. Packrats got into one building and made a huge mess. Cleaning up rat feces is not one of my favorite things and opens me up to catch some nasty stuff. I wear a respirator and gloves. I don't like the idea of using tons of bleach, because the fumes can be just as toxic as what I'm trying to clean up.

I found this at Lowes today in a gallon jug and thought of you Bill. http://www.simplegreen.com/products_pro_3.php I plan on coating every surface with it.

Good idea about using simple green. I wonder how it would work using one of these to spray it around?
http://www.lowes.com/pd_303984-1306...1&currentURL=/pl__0__s?Ntt=sprayer&facetInfo=

The sprayer is fairly inexpensive and you pump it up once and it sprays for a good amount of time.

NOTE: We use one of these at deer camp to spray the "descenter" on our clothes. It works pretty good.

 

[mdbeck1]

Very Good Bill your moving in the right direction . Keep going buddy .

On a side note I walked into the bedroom earlier tonight to find SWMBO dresser ( top
) almost empty which thriiled me till I looked over at the bed . Which she then had to clear of and start putting things back ontop of the dresser . I walked in at this time and said if it doesnt fit in there maybe its time to get rid of some of them . Her dresser is twice the size of mine and its packed plus another dressers worth ontop of it .


Rick

Gutsy. I did that once. Several days later I could "see the light". ...that was after the swelling went down.

On a more serious note... You're not supposed to be able to identify ANYTHING on her dresser (or her side of the sink in the bathroom).

 

[streetstar]

Sounds about like me and bicycles right now. Between me, the wife, and our kids, we have 15 bicycles in the garage - all rideable. I was cleaning tonight and realized how many we had. Had a thought to get rid of some, but they're all unique and there's a story to them.

.

Uggghhhh - tell me about it (although this post was from page 25 -- it has taken me all morning tor ead the rest of this thread)
I used to race bicycles, --- i have what seems like stacks of obsolete road racing, mountain and track bikes (well, its hard for any track bike to be obsolete) - plus boxes of the obsolete components that accumulate -- its hard to sell them , as they are worth pennies on the dollar compared to the initial investment- each one may carry memories of a special ride or a victory , --- but the reality is i will never ride them again.
I have moved on to late model stuff that simply works better than the old stuff and/or fits better -- i would like to display the nicer stuff but for now it is all packed away

You mentioned your work with RC cars --- thats another sinking ship for me - but not to the extent of someone like yourself who worked in the trade ----
Sometimes i will just go buy a new Traxxas Slash to go racing in the stock class because it is easier than cracking the cases to fix the broken output shafts -- so i have several nice RC cars with low time on them just begging for a couple hours work each so they can go again

Granted, having bicycles and RC cars piled to the rafters is not as severe an issue as Bill's house right now, but your comment about the bicycles and RC cars touched a nerve i guess --- I need to find an ambitious 14 year old at the track to pay a c-note to fix the cars , and give some younger bicycle racers a heckuva bargain on my old stuff --- what i think is old junk, somebody may be thrilled to have

 

[Bronson]

Go for it Bill, keep on rollin!

 

[bczygan]

Uggghhhh - tell me about it (although this post was from page 25 -- it has taken me all morning tor ead the rest of this thread)
I used to race bicycles, --- i have what seems like stacks of obsolete road racing, mountain and track bikes (well, its hard for any track bike to be obsolete) - plus boxes of the obsolete components that accumulate -- its hard to sell them , as they are worth pennies on the dollar compared to the initial investment- each one may carry memories of a special ride or a victory , --- but the reality is i will never ride them again.
I have moved on to late model stuff that simply works better than the old stuff and/or fits better -- i would like to display the nicer stuff but for now it is all packed away

You mentioned your work with RC cars --- thats another sinking ship for me - but not to the extent of someone like yourself who worked in the trade ----
Sometimes i will just go buy a new Traxxas Slash to go racing in the stock class because it is easier than cracking the cases to fix the broken output shafts -- so i have several nice RC cars with low time on them just begging for a couple hours work each so they can go again

Granted, having bicycles and RC cars piled to the rafters is not as severe an issue as Bill's house right now, but your comment about the bicycles and RC cars touched a nerve i guess --- I need to find an ambitious 14 year old at the track to pay a c-note to fix the cars , and give some younger bicycle racers a heckuva bargain on my old stuff --- what i think is old junk, somebody may be thrilled to have

Hey, I've got bikes too......about a dozen. Mountain bikes, carbon graphite, Old Raleigh Pro road bike, Guerciotti I picked up for $20. Not riding any of them. Should sell most of em.

 

[streetstar]

Guerciotti I picked up for $20. Not riding any of them. Should sell most of em.

Thats a stout bargain for a classic road race machine ! If you weren't a thousand miles away, i could "help" you with a couple of them --- - of course that would not help me with my bicycle problem either

I have the day off today -- i just reminded myself that i need to get off the computer and head down to storage unit and get to work throwing out old magazines

Take care Bill,

i'll be checking the threads progress from time to time too --- hope you can get the heat fixed be4 it gets too cold

 

[Holedgr]

Yeah.....

Bill F'd up this morning...He called me!!!

I now have his number....his address....and obviously his trust!

Bill speaks as well as he posts. He sounds like has a good head on his shoulders and he seeems to have an excellent grasp on his situation. I enjoyed talking to him, relating as I can, and offering help and space (breathing room) as he needs it.

NOw....enough talk....he's got a few days..then I'm calling back....

THEN...I'm gonna find him...


-T

 

[bczygan]

Yeah.....

Bill F'd up this morning...He called me!!!

I now have his number....his address....and obviously his trust!

Bill speaks as well as he posts. He sounds like has a good head on his shoulders and he seeems to have an excellent grasp on his situation. I enjoyed talking to him, relating as I can, and offering help and space (breathing room) as he needs it.

NOw....enough talk....he's got a few days..then I'm calling back....

THEN...I'm gonna find him...

-T

Boy did I ever screw up. Now I've got Holedgr on my tail! He is a kind and generous spirit, but also a very straight shooter who doesn't sugar coat or hold back his advice. And I've never met a more focused person. It'll be good for me. Thanks T.

Up at the tire store getting tires on the Astro Van. Wife is still waiting for response from trailer guy and won't be getting one. She's focusing more on getting van fixed up for future trips. That's a much better focus. It's her DD. I'll help her there.

 

[JC23]

Learn, grasshopper. Learn!

 

[markviii]

Excellent news, Holedrg! As difficult as it is reaching out and accepting, just remember that you took the step instead of brushing the offers aside and disappearing on us.

Bill, glad you're getting Julie's DD fixed. With all the other stuff, just keep as positive as possible while accepting these helpers into your world. We're all here to help, not to judge, because we all have our challenges, too; some of us have been put on notice by your public airing of your troubles and have been challenged to begin work on our own issues. BUT, your situation isn't like Sisyphus (in mythology) who was "punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity".

There have been, and very well may be, some setbacks, but I think you're on a forward track. Lots of retraining in the way you do things and relate to people (including your wife) are necessary in this process and I can't promise that it'll be easy. But I'm confident there will be a positive end to this situation for you and your wife. You've made an amazing start on the transformation.

Chris

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill ya done screwed the pooch now . You do know that Holedgr had a TV show on the history channel a while back where he tested Big guns and artilery and stuff . Seem to recall them calling him Gunny . Dont worry Bill when you hear " pick up that box ya lilly livered maggot " remember Gunny is only trying to help .


Rick

 

[70Chevy]

Bill said he will accept my help as well. Said he wanted to get a few more things done before he was ready for me to come over and dig in.
Perhaps me and Holedgr and get over there soon and help define a direction for this project - making priorities and setting deadlines.

Stay tuned...

 

[Kevin54]

Bill...congrats on making the move to accept some help. That's a good thaing. And hats off to HoleDgr and 70Chevy for stepping up to offer. I know there would be more of us there if we could. Hopefully you have the heat and water issue straightened out before the frost comes and the snow flies. Do keep us posted with the progress!!!

And like I stated before, this thread has made many member step back and take a look at their own personal life. I bet almost all that have read this thread have tossed a few things that has been laying around for years. You did good Bill by bringing others attention to things.

 

[xtrm4xjp]

Hauling a load of "good stuff" that I really don't need to scrap yard this morning.

Bill I'm glad to hear that your taking some help. Keep plugging away and when things get overwhelming just jump on here and we'll help push you in the right direction.

Anders