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Grunge Garage

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BlueSuedeShoe

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Last weekend my husband put 15 things up on ebay. I'm so happy!
If there's hope for my hubby, then there's hope for your wife as well ;)

In case you're interested in health advice just let me know. I know quite a lot about nutrition, a healthy diet, and detoxification. Our kid no longer has skin and bowel problems, I am much more energetic, have no muscel pain, headaches or whatever else I used to have (the list was loooong!).
I asume that my efforts to heal my body have something to do with my new attitude toward collecting stuff.

Wish you the best!
 
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Kevin54

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Well as promised here are the pics of the way we live. And mind you that to the wife and I, some of this isn't satisfactory to the both of us. But with multiple doctor appointments weekly for both of us, things tend to get out of hand at times. I may have to post in a couple of replies to get them in. This is a house that is lived in. Clothes are in the closet in the bedroom and at the end of the hall, and in the dressers. The hallways is free and clear of clutter except for the dog laying there at times. The kitchen cabinets are a mess at the moment due to my wifes Chemo medicine sitting there. The living room does not get used too much unless we have company over or say an Insurance Adjuster or someone along those lines. Other than that we just keep it clean and do the kickback living in the family room.

Oh and don't mind the sheets on the floor. Those are there to keep the floor clean because our dog Brandi sleeps in the room on ger own bed
 

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Kevin54

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I'm having problems loading some of the pics :rant:Anyways I wanted to say also that you don't see a TV in the bedroom. We have them in every room but there. That is one place we don't watch TV and we don't eat in bed. That room is reserved for sleeping and other not-going-to-mention things :lol:
 

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fergus

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She is part of my master plan. She just doesn't know it yet.

I like this. My wife was a a quasi-workaholic. She watched a lot of TV when she came home from work. Drove me nuts. We started playing card games as a substitute....first we would play while watching tv...then we started playing with just music instead sometimes. Seems trivial, but things were better.
 
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bczygan

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Last weekend my husband put 15 things up on ebay. I'm so happy!
If there's hope for my hubby, then there's hope for your wife as well ;)

In case you're interested in health advice just let me know. I know quite a lot about nutrition, a healthy diet, and detoxification. Our kid no longer has skin and bowel problems, I am much more energetic, have no muscel pain, headaches or whatever else I used to have (the list was loooong!).
I asume that my efforts to heal my body have something to do with my new attitude toward collecting stuff.

Wish you the best!

That will be an initiative for me as well. I drink a 2 liter of pop a day and eat mayo by the spoon and salt intake is very high. A number of teeth decayed to the gum line and 3 broke completely off. Gives me bad breath and can't be social or look for work or even kiss my wife. Overweight and out of shape. My brother quit pop entirely and claims it transformed his health. It's an addiction that controls me. Getting the kitchen cleaned out and operating again is important as we don't eat as many whole foods as we should. I seldom have access to the stove and without water we don't prepare much. We've been eating with plastic forks and plates for too long.

A note to GJ members:
Sorry that this thread isn't more garage and tool oriented at this point in time. It started out that way but has gotten to a root problem I have that may help some others with their own problems. I fully expect this thread to end with a cleaned up and organized and working garage with lots of photos. I also encourage others to post their own cleanup projects and photos.
 
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Kevin54

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This is what the house garage looks like. I have my own garage so I fixed this up for the wife to keep her car in. I'll post some other pics up of the house to go head to head with Bill. :bounce: Anyone else want to post up?

And Bill, Don't take it wrong. I'm not trying to be smartass or anything like that, I'm just showing you what things could be like on your end to have a better quality of life with your wife and with your health :thumbup: If things are clean you won't have the mice and rat problems. Once things are cleaned up, it is very easy to keep things in order. My wife and I tag team a lot of things when it comes to cleaning the house. Then there are other things that I clean myself as does she.
 

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Nighttrain

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A note to GJ members:
Sorry that this thread isn't more garage and tool oriented at this point in time. It started out that way but has gotten to a root problem I have that may help some others with their own problems. I fully expect this thread to end with a cleaned up and organized and working garage with lots of photos. I also encourage others to post their own cleanup projects and photos.

__________________


Bill, forget the garage for now, we understand. You will get to it later and enjoy like we all do ours. First things first, and you know what that is. Keep in the fight buddy.
 

Kevin54

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That will be an initiative for me as well. I drink a 2 liter of pop a day and eat mayo by the spoon and salt intake is very high. A number of teeth decayed to the gum line and 3 broke completely off. Gives me bad breath and can't be social or look for work or even kiss my wife. Overweight and out of shape. My brother quit pop entirely and claims it transformed his health. It's an addiction that controls me. Getting the kitchen cleaned out and operating again is important as we don't eat as many whole foods as we should. I seldom have access to the stove and without water we don't prepare much. We've been eating with plastic forks and plates for too long.

A note to GJ members:
Sorry that this thread isn't more garage and tool oriented at this point in time. It started out that way but has gotten to a root problem I have that may help some others with their own problems. I fully expect this thread to end with a cleaned up and organized and working garage with lots of photos. I also encourage others to post their own cleanup projects and photos.

First off, there is not one damned thing to be ashamed of. You KNOW that there is a problem both physically and mentally to where you withdraw. When there are physical characteristics that bother us, we tend to do that. I've done the same thing. But take the time to make a mental note to yourself that "Damn it, I AM going to do something about it. Do things one thing at a time. If dental work is needed and by the way you describe, it is, then by all means, go to a dentist and get things taken care of. Once you do, then you will start feeling better about yourself. 2 liters of pop a day ain't squat. I got you beat by a longshot :rocker: I know, it's not a good thing and I know that I also need to do something about that myself :eek: I've also got a couple of bad teeth that I have had taken care of and am still waiting to get my other front tooth which should be in next week. WhooHoo!!! It bothers me, but then again it is something that I couldn't of helped, so I just go with it. I've been teased about it, but I just joke right back. Friends look at you for who you are inside, not physical flaws. Now if you go weeks without showering, then there is a problem. No reason for that. So when you get up in the morning, make up your mind to do something different to change your image. Stand tall and stand proud!!! You need to take control instead of letting things control you. Once they control you, then they slowly consume you. Once they start consuming you, then mentally you go so far down you think you'll never see the light of day again.

I'm 55 years old, always stood on my own two feet, was always the go to guy to have something fixed. This year I had a total mental breakdown. Everything that I was trying to fix, all the people that I tried to help, everything I did finally became too much and I totally lost it. Probably one bullet short of fixing it myself. I called up a doctor crying for help and he dumped me. So here I am, not knowing what to do, didn't know who to ask for help, no doctor, wife with cancer, me facing another surgery or two, father just buried a couple of weeks before.
So I called up another doctor here in town, again not hardly being able to speak but got it to see him. That was the bottom. Now I have another stair to climb each day but things are slowly getting better. My wife is halfway through her Chemo treatments and doing well. I have spoke with another surgeon that is optimistic that he can fix my shoulder that has been out of place for two years. My other shoulder will be an easy fix according to him, and my attitude has changed drastically. So see Bill, things can turn around. Sometimes it is just making the right phone call. Other times it is getting the determination yourself to make the change, then sometimes it's just getting the determination to make a call. Things can get better if you want them to. Sadly it's more than going to bed and a bunch of little elves come in and finishing it. :lol: If it was only that easy though. No one knows how many years one has. I'm hoping for at least another 35. But in that time, I want the easy life with my wife. I don't want to shorten it with bad health and worries. And I don't want things to be a burden on the family that will have to take care of our things once we pass on.
 

markviii

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It IS! Just do it once and see how it feels. You never know until you try. (and I know that you know what is really trash in your house - everything in that basement that is totally unusable - just make sure to wear that often-mentioned mask) And once you take that one truck load, you'll start feeling the weight lifting off your shoulders that's holding you down. Every load of stuff out of the house is one step closer to better health and a more normal life. Honest...

Chris
 

mdbeck1

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Everything in the basement is obvious trash.

I agree wholeheartedly. It's the other stuff that's the problem for me.

So it's agreed. :rocker: Bczygan will clear a trail from the driveway to the basement, get out his mask, trash bags and his wheelbarrow (to carry the bags), and get started. I'm looking forward to reading about it and seeing pictures.

Should we expect pictures of a vehicle full of bags tomorrow? :3gears:
 

markviii

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Fairly decent weather Thursday and then again Saturday. Great for making some actual progress (not just thinking about it).

Chris
 

Omphaloskeptic

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Said Lucy to Linus - "That rag you are never without, is the most disgusting, wretched, foul, miserable, ridiculous excuse of a blanket I have ever seen!"

Said Linus to Lucy - "Yes, all that you say may be true, but it is mine, it defines me, it gives me succor, I am nothing without it and I cannot imagine myself living a day without its comfort!"

Said Lucy to Linus - "AAARRRGGGHHH, you drive me crazy! GET RID OF IT!!!"

Said Linus to Lucy - "I will consider getting rid of it; someday; maybe; I think."

Said Lucy - "AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!":willy_nil
 

Need4racin

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Bill this week, get the guys to come over and unload that basement and throw it all away. You're dragging your feet through this whole thing. If they leave you to clean this house up you'll still be dicking around 10 yrs from now. The three bin trash is a coverup so you can drag this out. Get a dumpster or rent a truck.

The worlds not ending, you don't need to hoard things of no value.

Just do this so you can have your place all setup and your garage ready for working on your vehicles. You said it yourself your vehicles need work.
 
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70Chevy

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Bill - I bet you have a utility trailer. We can load it up this weekend and you can go drop it off on Monday when the dump is open.
Whadda say?
 
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Lawson4450

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Bill I would really like to say several things here first as a human being we have faults and difficulties in life that we can't over come by ourselves, you realize this and took the first step. I wish there was a way to convince your wife I understand you are not working and are home but she lives there too so NO it is not MY responsibility as you put it its OUR responsibility. I work and my wife right now is home with the baby but I still do work around the house and cook dinner and such even though I work as a Firefighter plus I am the Chief of my Volly company I work sometimes as much as 80 hours a week (very rare if I can help it lol) but I refuse to go two days without spending time with my baby. As a firefighter I express my concern because of the hoarding its what we call a Colliers Mansion which got its name from I believe they were either brothers or family members who basically did the same thing and you couldn't walk thru the house. there was a fire in that house and the difficulties in fighting those fires is tremendous and since then the fire service calls these situations Colliers mansions. I have fought fires in these type of set ups and also responded for medical emergencies in these places and let me tell you if I have to rescue you I might not be able to if I cant find you! One day we had fire in one of these houses and I attempted to ascend the stairs from the first floor I couldnt see anything I was by myself I was crawling over the magazines and books stacked on either side of the stairway and found what I thought was a door so I went to smash it in because it would open all the way. Well I swung and missed because I was 3 steps short of the door I was pushing on stuff on the stairs LOL .I love the fact you asked for help please heed the advice and get a proper respirator the small paper mask will not work get safety googles as well that seal all the way around and if you can some paper jump suits that you can just throw away when your done. I wish I were closer to help you I know I battle my own demons as I buy stuff all the time too but if I buy I get rid of something and on occasion I purge so I wont be like my grandmother and keep stuff. God bless and I hope it all works out for you and keep pushing I have also dealt with depression and its paralyzing fear and useless feeling and this all because I was denying things that happened to me as a child. Keep it up we are pulling for you and NO MORE TRAILERS!!!!
 

Kevin54

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Good morning Bill.

Did things get tossed yesterday or just rearranged again? You have an offer to help you work on things this weekend. Please accept it for the people on here that have been backing you and rooting for you.

Any new pics to post?

Oh and BTW...you really need to heed Lawsons advice. Colliers Mansion is now a phrase that will forever be imbedded in MY mind.
 
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bczygan

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Lawson4450,
Thank you for the support and also for reminding me of the Collyer brothers story. I remember my mother telling me about them as a child. They died in 47' in Manhattan. I was born there in 50'. I don't remember if she was just using them as a general object lesson or if it was something that she already saw as a problem in me and was trying to control even then. I don't remember my family having hoarding problems. In fact, the opposite was a difficulty, at least in my mind. Two factors may have contributed to my desire to keep things. First, I am the oldest of 5 brothers. As you may imagine, when the new arrivals begin to appear, the lone first born is no longer the center of attention. My mother told the story of me covering one of my newly arrived baby brothers with shoes to make him go away. New siblings take your stuff, physically and metaphorically. even your parents time and love was now divided.
The second factor is my alcoholic father. He was a talented man who always held good paying positions, but he changed jobs and even careers often. And we moved just as often, sometimes to different parts of the country. This disjointedness caused a lifelong longing for rootedness and stability. So, for me, things represent far more than they are. They represent stability and safety and even love.
Knowing these things does not make it easy to overcome the problems. But it does help.
Collyer Brothers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers
 
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markviii

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Knowing all these things about the supposed root of your difficulties shows me that you have some good inner strength moving you toward a positive change. YOU made the first step by exposing your (self-imposed?) weaknesses to us (and by voicing it, to yourself). Just because something is the way it is does not mean it has to remain that way. Having a basic plan helps to move toward an end goal, if you know what that goal is. I think you do.

Having support helps, too. You have it from all of us following this thread. Accepting on-site help is the next piece in the puzzle - please accept it. I think Julie will eventually join in the struggle. At least she hasn't gone ballistic about the thread; that indicates, at least to me, that she is beginning to face her contribution to the difficulties. She's just having a harder time finding a goal to focus on.

Keeping her daily driver running ($) and her clothes accessible and presentable (organization) so she can maintain the outward look she needs to continue working takes lots of effort. She has a tightrope to walk every day trying to hide the reality of her home situation so it doesn't become a negative in her work situation. I'm sure that saps her strength and contributes to any health problems she may be facing.

The weather report says 30% chance of rain today, but my radar shows it's clear to the west other than a few showers over Ann Arbor. The rest of the weekend will be great. Good luck with making some progress.

Chris
 
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Mmfh

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Hello Bill,

I'm fairly new here and just found your thread. I have to say I totally understand what your life is like right now, and also want to say that all the agony and frustration you are going through right now will be long forgotten when you reach your goal.

My wife is a very private person, if she found out I was posting a thread like this she would come absolutely unglued. That's because she is part of the problem. She will come around when she is able to taste the success of your project.

Not long ago I decided to do the same thing you are doing, I want my life back and I want to have something going on that I can enjoy and share with my family. I'm not to where I want to be yet, but I can really start to envision what its going to be like and sometimes I catch myself just daydreaming of what its going to be like and how much fun I'm going to have.

It will be the same for you! Start thinking about what its going to be like when your finished. What you are going to do in your new found garage, things you are going to proudly show and tell your wife that you have done or accomplished.

One very big thing that helped me with getting rid of stuff, and let me tell you I'm not the kind of guy that likes to get rid of stuff, I have that picture in my head of what I want to do with my space and how I'm going to share it with my family.

If the particular thing I'm looking at doesn't look good in the picture I have in my head, its got to go! Have your goal of what you will be seeing when its done and only keep what makes that picture look good.

"If you can't see it in your dream done picture, let somebody else have it for their dream picture."

If the shoe doesn't fit, get rid of it!

Keep going, we are all here to back you up. You are going to have so much fun when you are done! Trust me on this one, the things you get rid of will quickly be forgotten. Just as if they were never there.

Nice job so far, keep up the good work!

Mm
 

Phxphenom

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This is my first post. I have read this thread from top to bottom. At this point, it is actions that speak louder than words and typing on the internet is not really the kind of actions needed. Here is my action list for you to consider:

1) Immediately contact those who have reached out to you and set up a time for them to come over to assess actuions required to get your utilities going again, particularly the water.
2) Work toward that goal by removing any impediments to action item #1.

Show yourself and us that you are serious (beyond being online) to meeting your goals.

The time is now.
Best wishes,
Marc
 
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bczygan

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Hello Bill,

I'm fairly new here and just found your thread. I have to say I totally understand what your life is like right now, and also want to say that all the agony and frustration you are going through right now will be long forgotten when you reach your goal.

My wife is a very private person, if she found out I was posting a thread like this she would come absolutely unglued. That's because she is part of the problem. She will come around when she is able to taste the success of your project.

Not long ago I decided to do the same thing you are doing, I want my life back and I want to have something going on that I can enjoy and share with my family. I'm not to where I want to be yet, but I can really start to envision what its going to be like and sometimes I catch myself just daydreaming of what its going to be like and how much fun I'm going to have.

It will be the same for you! Start thinking about what its going to be like when your finished. What you are going to do in your new found garage, things you are going to proudly show and tell your wife that you have done or accomplished.

One very big thing that helped me with getting rid of stuff, and let me tell you I'm not the kind of guy that likes to get rid of stuff, I have that picture in my head of what I want to do with my space and how I'm going to share it with my family.

If the particular thing I'm looking at doesn't look good in the picture I have in my head, its got to go! Have your goal of what you will be seeing when its done and only keep what makes that picture look good.

"If you can't see it in your dream done picture, let somebody else have it for their dream picture."

If the shoe doesn't fit, get rid of it!

Keep going, we are all here to back you up. You are going to have so much fun when you are done! Trust me on this one, the things you get rid of will quickly be forgotten. Just as if they were never there.

Nice job so far, keep up the good work!

Mm

Your suggestion about visualation is exactly on target!
I have been doing just that.
I ask myself, "Where does this item belong?" and, "Does it have a permanent and specific place and use in my house and yard (Not a storage location)?"
 

rickairmedic

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Bill I'm still here buddy and just watched my local on the 8's and its getting ready to get cold here " lows in the 30's " . I have been busy building a new heating system for a customer and now have to jump on the ball and get mine in .

I am pretty sure you have a utility trailer that you and 70 chevy could fill this weekend so that Hole digr could get in there and help with the plumbing situation and between us we might be able to get your heat working .

I dont remember you saying . What type of heat do you have ? That will make a differance on wether or not I can walk you guys through repairs over the phone or internet or not :D.


Rick
 
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bczygan

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This is my first post. I have read this thread from top to bottom. At this point, it is actions that speak louder than words and typing on the internet is not really the kind of actions needed. Here is my action list for you to consider:

1) Immediately contact those who have reached out to you and set up a time for them to come over to assess actuions required to get your utilities going again, particularly the water.
2) Work toward that goal by removing any impediments to action item #1.

Show yourself and us that you are serious (beyond being online) to meeting your goals.

The time is now.
Best wishes,
Marc

Marc,
Thank you for making your first post to this thread and welcome to GJ!
You are so right. I will now take a break from posting and will go get some serious work done.
 

NJHandyGuy

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Bill congratulations on the acheivement and realization fwiw when i go to detroit on the 21st consider my offer and maybe i'll lend you a hand
 

Lawson4450

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somerset NJ
Lawson4450,
Thank you for the support and also for reminding me of the Collyer brothers story. I remember my mother telling me about them as a child. They died in 47' in Manhattan. I was born there in 50'. I don't remember if she was just using them as a general object lesson or if it was something that she already saw as a problem in me and was trying to control even then. I don't remember my family having hoarding problems. In fact, the opposite was a difficulty, at least in my mind. Two factors may have contributed to my desire to keep things. First, I am the oldest of 5 brothers. As you may imagine, when the new arrivals begin to appear, the lone first born is no longer the center of attention. My mother told the story of me covering one of my newly arrived baby brothers with shoes to make him go away. New siblings take your stuff, physically and metaphorically. even your parents time and love was now divided.
The second factor is my alcoholic father. He was a talented man who always held good paying positions, but he changed jobs and even careers often. And we moved just as often, sometimes to different parts of the country. This disjointedness caused a lifelong longing for rootedness and stability. So, for me, things represent far more than they are. They represent stability and safety and even love.
Knowing these things does not make it easy to overcome the problems. But it does help.
Collyer Brothers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers

I understand the drinking thing as well as my dad and step dad (ex) were drinkers. I was physically abused as a child and my father has been married 4 or 5 times and my mom 3 times. I was born in NJ and lived here until I was 5 I moved to Indianapolis until i was 11 then moved back to somerset nj and then I moved to Lakewood NJ where I attended the end of 8th grade until I hit my senior year in high school where we moved to Apopka Florida. I had to move in my senior year I missed graduating with my friends and going to the proms and all the school stuff I became a bit of a recluse. I then moved back to NJ and then my parents wanted to move to Georgia I said no way and stayed in somerset where I have been ever since and that was 1990. And yes my dad and stepmom at the time ended up divorcing and my dad moved back to NJ and oh yeah I let my dad have it one night over the moving me my senior year like that. But through all those years I get alot inside me and it ate me up I didnt have any social interaction I didnt know how and I ended up panic stricken in public places. I had an ulcer from it as well until one night I got mad over something stupid and almost hurt my best friend and that night he stayed over and everything came out I cried and cried and let it out everything and thank God he did that. I let someone help me and I was starting to pack stuff up and keep stuff and I nipped it in the bud early I purge every so often i have to if i dont ill stack up and stack it up. Let these guys come over and help and realize alot of us have gone thru things in life as well. I really wish I were closer because I would definately help. Oh and one other thing that has helped is my joining the fire company because I did that I was able to get my EMT and fire inspector and instructor certifications giving me the career I have today so its funny how things work out :thumbup::beer:
 

flybefree

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Bill, just wanted to drop you a note of encouragement. I had to stop drinking soda this last year on the advice of my dentist....never figured that it would be a problem. I find it remarkable that so many men are sharing their struggles here with you...like I said earlier your courage is inspiring. I would think that even with a heart full of courage the challenges in your life might still seem to be too big...but you got this...one day at a time.

Shaun
 

Holedgr

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Joined
Jun 21, 2006
Messages
358
Bill hasn't been answering his phone...honestly....it pisses me off....

We're trying to get something going here and we're running out of weather.....


I am QUICKLY running out of ambition...I will not beg to help someone who won't even answer the phone...

I don't want to see a whole gammit of excuses either....

If my style is too aggressive for you, fine...I will not involve myself...but if that is the case....man up and let me know.


-T
 
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markviii

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Jan 25, 2010
Messages
1,310
Location
east central IL
I ended up not going to my parents' yesterday. It was too windy and I wasn't up for the 2+ hour drive into a gusty (up to 40mph) NW wind with lots of trucks on the road. I'll go next Friday/Saturday for mom's birthday.

So, I'm in my frame shop today, organizing things for the pre-Christmas sale I'm having. No one has shown up, allowing me to get things situated better than they were. And I'm working on framing two pictures with in-stock supplies, so pure profit if they sell. I've got some sheets of cork and some small mirrors, so I'll also be framing those with some fancy moulding for decorative and useful wall hangings. Business should pick up soon.

I hope you're getting some work done (hopefully with some help), Bill, because I know we're all working on something. (I sent you a pm)

Chris
 
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bczygan

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 4, 2009
Messages
22,002
Location
DETROIT! Arsenal of Scrappers
Holedgr,
Sorry, the phone runs out of battery and shuts off. Call me again. I've got the phone on me. I just met 70Chevy and his wife (Very nice people) and gave them the tour. I'm going back to work clearing the back walk right now. Report later.
 
Last edited:

Phxphenom

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
149
So glad you met 70Chevy......You made my day!


Holedgr,
Sorry, the phone runs out of battery and shuts off. Call me again. I've got the phone on me. I just met 70Chevy and his wife (Very nice people) and gave them the tour. I'm going back to work clearing the back walk right now. Report later.
 

Nighttrain

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
2,682
Location
Dripping Springs, Tx
Bill you made us worry there for a minute. Don't give up on the folks that are there to help you. I imagine that basement is like a living hell for you. Without water I imagine that your sewer has backed up for years in there. Give in to the help and don't worry what people think. Keep in the fight!
 
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