This is a most disheartening report. I'm sure all the listeners/watchers of this thread appreciate the 'reality report' given above, but are also equally saddened by the news.
Bill, this doesn't mean that we are giving up on you or your ability to change. It sounds like this could end up being a very painful lesson (i.e. destroyed house) but you also have the rest of your life and your wife's life to think about and to live. If I were in your shoes, I would much rather move and start fresh if it meant adding 15 or more years to my life by increasing the quality of life/health standards and avoiding conditions that could possibly end my life prematurely. In my limited but objective (I hope!) viewpoint, you will always be able regain 'stuff' (albeit important, clean stuff), but health is much, much harder to regain. We only have 1 life. I'm sure you don't want you and your wife to suffer some terrible lung condition or worse for the remainder of your lives.
If all the professionals come through, say what's what, and the final tally is that there is just no more hope for the residence, I would encourage you to embrace it and look at it as a new opportunity to make some real life changes. I do believe that we were meant to be more than what we own/accumulate. I believe that you were meant to live life far beyond such a shallow existence.
When I think about how short all our lives are, one question I think about is 'what is my legacy?', or what do I leave behind for others? One thing common to all hoarders that I have heard about (and some of the posters in this thread are the evidence), is that when they go, all their stuff ends up staying...for others to have to suffer through, which can be a very terrible, bitter experience. Perhaps I'm getting a little too philosophical (after all, this is a garage forum

) but lets be real, I want my true legacy to have nothing to do with my garage, my stuff, or anything like that. I'm sure you don't either. And if that is the case, NOW is the time to decide to change all that. If it happens to be a repaired/gutted house, so be it. If it happens to be a condemned house, so be it. Don't discount the rest of your life, or what your true legacy/purpose is. Find out what the bigger things in life are to you (health, new start, etc) and GO FOR IT.
Don't look back, except to remind yourself how far you've come.