I just found this thread and I'm not taking the time to read all the pages, but I commend you on taking the first steps to gain control of your life. I too am a hoarder. I stopped seeing my shrink a few months ago because I realized that $100 a month in co-pays and the two hours in session and the three or four hours waiting could be put to much better use. Unfortunately, I'm using the time and money to troll pawn shops and the like. I know most people don't understand our need to have and keep everything, but I know that the things that you have already accomplished are huge...even if no one seems to believe that.
Kevin206,
Thank you for your post. It helps me to know there are others out there who suffer the same way, and understand in a very basic way, what it is like.
That said, we can help each other. Take some time to read this thread and see some of the ups and downs. Share some of the support and criticism I've gotten and know you can do the same as me. It isn't easy by any means, and there are setbacks and very slow progress. But begin every day and keep on beginning. Start very small, but keep on pushing. You WILL make progress.
I need to add to the above advice. Your most difficulty is in changing your attitudes toward things. Think of things for their intrinsic value. How will I use this? When will I use it? Where will it go in my house and what accessory items will be needed to operate it? In other words, an item is NOT a great buy with the rush a bargain gives you. Rather, you must start thinking of the things you have or need to have in terms of what they really are for. And you must treasure and care for them. This means making a specific place for them and actually using them. I find that when I get a deal on something I tend to devalue it and then just chuck it in a corner after short use and just let it deteriorate.
So here is a plan for you that is slowly working for me. Start by throwing away true trash. Things that are ruined and total junk. This will be easy to do because these things cannot be used for anything. It will also give you some space to work in. Start in one room and in one small area. This will start to give you some successes and make you feel better about yourself. I am convinced that depression and self worth issues contribute to this problem as well as feelings of lack of security. So as you feel more in control of your environment and better about yourself and how you live, it will start moving into other parts of your life. You will start caring about everything.
The second step is throwing away things that are broken and could be fixed. This is harder, but if you can come to the realization that they are an anchor around your neck that immobilize you, you can learn to dispose of them as well.
The third and hardest thing is letting go of perfectly usable things. Here you need to truly value yourself and by extension, your things. Just keep the best of the best. One or two of an item at most, and even then, everything must have it's place, and by place I DO NOT mean long term storage. Other stuff and multiples must find another place to live.
This doesn't mean you just throw away everything of value. You can offer things for sale, but after a time it is better to rid yourself of the responsibility of having it. It's a case of diminishing returns where the effort to keep it is greater than the value of the item. Give it away, or if that is too much time and effort to expend, just trash it.
Part of the process is actually getting new things, which is a pleasure in itself. But you will be buying specific things for particular purposes. For instance, you will be finding cabinets and cases and shelving and tables to house and accommodate your things. You will have specific places for these to go before you get them and also particular items designated to go on or in them.
It's not about getting rid of everything, but in deciding what is really important and valuing that. Focus on the things you really want to do and honor those possessions that give you those capabilities. Become the master of your domain rather than letting your things control you. It is slow and difficult simply because you cannot change the way you think, feel and act overnight. But if you start by doing something, even though you don't fully feel like doing it yet, then the mind will follow. Fake it til you make it.
The reward is joy and freedom and empowerment.
