93sr20det
Well-known member
How do you convince your significant other you need to be in the garage?
How do you get time in the garage?
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rickairmedic
Well-known member
I come home look at her cross eyed and head for the garage 
. SWMBO only complains when she needs me to do something for her otherwise I am free to be in the garage . Kids are grown ( mostly ) and dont require constant adult supervision and since I am the only one in the house bringing in the bacon my freetime is spent as I wish to spend it .
Rick
. SWMBO only complains when she needs me to do something for her otherwise I am free to be in the garage . Kids are grown ( mostly ) and dont require constant adult supervision and since I am the only one in the house bringing in the bacon my freetime is spent as I wish to spend it .Rick
ddawg16
Well-known member
If your asking that question....then you might as well start planning the divorce.
You think I'm joking? No sir, I am not. If something so simple as getting some time in the garage is an issue with the spouse....it's only a matter of time before bigger issues happen.
I was there once....that is why I now call her the x-*****.
My wife now? Not unusual for her to be in the garage first.
Ok...some positive advise....find something she wants to do in the garage as well....like clean your tools?
r6_cannibal
Well-known member
"i'll be in the lab"
though, right now things are a little crazy and I don't spend as much time out there as i'd like. Our first born is a little over a year old, and wife had inner ear damage during the pregnancy so her balance is all messed up and gets vertigo randomly...basically she's still recovering and will be about another year until she's back to 80%. But I still manage to find time for myself. often times, like tonight, it's after they've gone to sleep.
though, right now things are a little crazy and I don't spend as much time out there as i'd like. Our first born is a little over a year old, and wife had inner ear damage during the pregnancy so her balance is all messed up and gets vertigo randomly...basically she's still recovering and will be about another year until she's back to 80%. But I still manage to find time for myself. often times, like tonight, it's after they've gone to sleep.
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RBailey
Well-known member
One of lifes great problems (for the married).
I have tried, asking, shouting, screaming, begging, crying nothing really work.
You are always in the brown smelly stuff, it's just the depth that changes.
Young kids just make it even harder, I have been trying to explain to here that children are not my Hobby even if they are hers.
Eventually we thrashed out an agreement.
Generally I'm allowed one night a week after 8 then I don’t get to much grief.
Weekends are not allowed because I have to do child care.
It means that any big jobs need to be broken down into a series of small steps for a series of evenings / weeks.
Often small jobs are easier done on the kitchen bar or living room floor as we can still be together and I get to work. That way it does not cost me a garage pass.
The worst is if I miss an opportunity to work when she is out then I loose all permission for the next month.
Something like "Why are you out there again, I went out last week and you didn’t do it then" etc.. etc..
Sorry no easy answer, if anybody else does PLEASE PLEASE share !
Cheers,
Richard B.
I have tried, asking, shouting, screaming, begging, crying nothing really work.
You are always in the brown smelly stuff, it's just the depth that changes.
Young kids just make it even harder, I have been trying to explain to here that children are not my Hobby even if they are hers.
Eventually we thrashed out an agreement.
Generally I'm allowed one night a week after 8 then I don’t get to much grief.
Weekends are not allowed because I have to do child care.
It means that any big jobs need to be broken down into a series of small steps for a series of evenings / weeks.
Often small jobs are easier done on the kitchen bar or living room floor as we can still be together and I get to work. That way it does not cost me a garage pass.
The worst is if I miss an opportunity to work when she is out then I loose all permission for the next month.
Something like "Why are you out there again, I went out last week and you didn’t do it then" etc.. etc..
Sorry no easy answer, if anybody else does PLEASE PLEASE share !
Cheers,
Richard B.
machine_punk
Well-known member
My wife doesn't seem to mind. Of course, I do make sure I take care of things around the house too (I am definitely the one bringing home the bacon and I am well compensated for the very difficult job I perform). But, I make sure we have definite 'family time' routinely. I take time to mentor and play with the boys (her sons). I cook dinner about half the time. I do other routine chores around the house. In general, I 'participate' in the family. I've made it clear that I am an introvert and need cave time. I've gone out of my way to share my resources and make sure everyone gets all of their needs and a lot of their wants taken care of.
So, when I take some 'me' time in the shop, I don't get much complaint. I guess my overall point is, make sure you are actively participating in the family and providing for their needs, then take time for yourself. If you really believe you are giving back to the others in your family and they will not allow you to have a little time to yourself, then I'd be seriously considering family counseling. Adult relationships are give an take. If someone you care about only takes and doesn't give, then do what it takes to relieve that situation.
Of course, you have to be realistic too. If you have a family and are upset because you cannot have 4 nights a week in the garage, that might be a little out of balance. But, if you are only asking for a few hours on one or two days a week, AND you are definitely 'giving' back to the family, then there is a problem.
Kev
So, when I take some 'me' time in the shop, I don't get much complaint. I guess my overall point is, make sure you are actively participating in the family and providing for their needs, then take time for yourself. If you really believe you are giving back to the others in your family and they will not allow you to have a little time to yourself, then I'd be seriously considering family counseling. Adult relationships are give an take. If someone you care about only takes and doesn't give, then do what it takes to relieve that situation.
Of course, you have to be realistic too. If you have a family and are upset because you cannot have 4 nights a week in the garage, that might be a little out of balance. But, if you are only asking for a few hours on one or two days a week, AND you are definitely 'giving' back to the family, then there is a problem.
Kev
Daniel Dudley
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Karnage
Well-known member
I don't understand the question? When my wife wants to see me she comes down to my Workshop/Shed/Garage.
nit2wn
Well-known member
I didn't ask to begin with. If I'm out there, something is usually broken. It used to be her car for several months was always needing one thing after another. I consider the garage/trucks my bad habits. I don't smoke, dip, drink, and no kids. We generally never even discuss it to be honest.
darkk
Well-known member
??????????? Do you need to ask for permission????? When ever I feel the need....I just go!
:edit: I answered before reading all of the posts here, so I'll give a little insite. I have 5 kids (all grown) I put my time in. But being I'm the "man" of the house, I'm the one with the last and final word. I'm not a dictator or a ***** but I do make the decisions here. Maybe having grown up and lived the biker style life, I have a different outlook on things. I don't need to ask anyone for permission for anything. This is my house and we live by my rules. My wife is pretty outspoken in her own right so she's not scared of me....trust me on this one. We just live this way, As long as I'm not down at the bar banging some young bimbo in the parking lot, I pretty much do as I please and so does she. Stuff around the house gets done when it gets done, I don't live in a dump and we don't live like white trailer trash...We live in a nice house in a relatively quiet neighborhood...
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z28snksknr
Well-known member
I have an 8 month old, and the wife is a teacher so she's home all day with him now that it's the summer. When I get home, she needs a break so it's "Daddy's turn" the moment I walk in the door, leaving me to ask "where's my break? I left the house at 5am this morning and got home at 6pm in the evening - did you think I was playing golf all day?"
Some days, I'm too exhausted to have a conversation about making time for me to go out in the garage. She's not keeping me from it, but our lives just don't allow for much "individual time" these days. I suggest make an arrangement where you get one day a week for your hobbies, and she gets a day for her's. Start there and see if that seed grows to what you want it to be. I've found that asking "when's a good day for me to get some things done in the garage" allows her to feel like she's part of the decision. Sometimes that's enough.
Some days, I'm too exhausted to have a conversation about making time for me to go out in the garage. She's not keeping me from it, but our lives just don't allow for much "individual time" these days. I suggest make an arrangement where you get one day a week for your hobbies, and she gets a day for her's. Start there and see if that seed grows to what you want it to be. I've found that asking "when's a good day for me to get some things done in the garage" allows her to feel like she's part of the decision. Sometimes that's enough.
Yeah I remember those days....I had 3 stepping stones, but now they are 5, 7 and 10 so its getting much much easier. Luckily all 3 of my kids loved the car seat.....many day/night they would be across the garage in the car seat just staring at me for hours....or snoozing.....couldnt do any heavy fab like grinding or welding with them out there, but turning wrenches- no problem
The kids are adults now, so they're no hassle (well almost) but when they were young, if they needed something, they could always come out to the garage.
The wife knows my garage is my space, where I relax. She knows full well that she can come out at any time. She works afternoon so in the evening is my time to be out there, I'm also out there during the day when she's home. She understands, after 19 years, if it's not working, it's time to move on. When it does come to her days off and my days match up, we try to do things together like go out for breakfast or lunch. We go to the grocery store together (it's not so bad, you get all the junk you want) and when I need something from Home Depot, she goes too. (she gets cleaning stuff she wants)
You just have to find some common ground and make compromises. It can't be all her or all you, somebody will be miserable if that's the way it works in your house.
Years ago, my father in law told my wife, "better into cars than in the bars". She took that advice wisely and realized that workin gon the Mustang or being in the garage was notthing. I was "home" when I did that and was available to the family at any time.
The wife knows my garage is my space, where I relax. She knows full well that she can come out at any time. She works afternoon so in the evening is my time to be out there, I'm also out there during the day when she's home. She understands, after 19 years, if it's not working, it's time to move on. When it does come to her days off and my days match up, we try to do things together like go out for breakfast or lunch. We go to the grocery store together (it's not so bad, you get all the junk you want) and when I need something from Home Depot, she goes too. (she gets cleaning stuff she wants)
You just have to find some common ground and make compromises. It can't be all her or all you, somebody will be miserable if that's the way it works in your house.
Years ago, my father in law told my wife, "better into cars than in the bars". She took that advice wisely and realized that workin gon the Mustang or being in the garage was notthing. I was "home" when I did that and was available to the family at any time.
Tscott
Well-known member
I have to agree with some of those above. You just gotta work it out. We have a 1 year old son at this point and he is getting easier, but on the weekdays, by the time he is asleep in bed, it is 8pm or so and too late to really get anything done in the shop. On the weekends, she wants at least one family day, and I agree with this, her hobby is hanging with the family and I understand she needs that. So typically I get all day Saturday, or all day Sunday after church in the garage. This is a little tough in the peak of summer when it's really hot here but I manage to make due.
I would suggest you sit down with her and explain your need. Kids are really what make it tough. Just remember, they are your kids to and it is your responsibility to help (if you have them, your post did not say).
Tom
I would suggest you sit down with her and explain your need. Kids are really what make it tough. Just remember, they are your kids to and it is your responsibility to help (if you have them, your post did not say).
Tom
We each have one night a week that we get "time off". She gets a night to do things she wants to do (usually she reads), and I get another night to do things I want to do. The other nights are family time.
Of course, my son goes to bed at 8:30, my wife is usually asleep by 10. That gives me two good hours every night to be in the garage before I start getting sleepy.
Of course, my son goes to bed at 8:30, my wife is usually asleep by 10. That gives me two good hours every night to be in the garage before I start getting sleepy.
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EVOSTi
Member
Sounds like my house. I understand you've been looking after the baby all day, but I'm lucky if I have had a minute to sit down for lunch!
veedubman91
Well-known member
im lucky that my wife is very understanding of the car hobbies that i have, but she also knew this from the day that we met, and i always make sure to remind her that this is how i have always been. i am a homebody kind of person so it is not like i am hanging out with my friends, then the remainder of time is in the garage. we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter and another on the way but we make time. she understands that outdoor things need to be done and that is my job to do them. the 3 of us always have dinner together every night and i am usually the one that cooks (98% of the time). dishes are also for the most part my thing. somehow all this works out fine, and i get my garage time when i want/need it
Foreign concept for me ..... the need to ask my wife for permission to head out to the shop.
I take care of her, I am attentive to her needs, and I take good care of what we own.
That fosters a relationship built upon mutual respect.
I'm not the kind of individual that's going to do well having to ask permission from my wife. I already had one mom, I don't need another.
I take care of her, I am attentive to her needs, and I take good care of what we own.
That fosters a relationship built upon mutual respect.
I'm not the kind of individual that's going to do well having to ask permission from my wife. I already had one mom, I don't need another.
I also have an 8 month old child. My wife works and I work from home...the kid goes to daycare. It is hard to find time to go out in the garage since the little freetime I have to myself is spent out on the trails on my bike. Since I work from home I can spend my lunch break out in the garage but that doesn't always happen (depends on what other **** I need to get done that day).
Things will hopefully get easier when she gets older and can maybe hang out with me in the garage while I work on projects.
Things will hopefully get easier when she gets older and can maybe hang out with me in the garage while I work on projects.
Wow I was just discussing this with my friends.
It is one thing when you don't have kids, quite another when you do.
My new born is just over 4 months old. So I like hanging out with them, and she appreciates the help. Once the baby is asleep, I go down to the garage and do stuff. Yes, all the projects have to be broken up into little pieces, but what can you do. I try to get about 6 hours on the weekend of my work time. There is always **** to do. She doesn't mind for the most part. I only get the evil eye when I come home after midnight. That rarely happens, but sometimes you just get into such a project that you don't even notice the time.
It is one thing when you don't have kids, quite another when you do.
My new born is just over 4 months old. So I like hanging out with them, and she appreciates the help. Once the baby is asleep, I go down to the garage and do stuff. Yes, all the projects have to be broken up into little pieces, but what can you do. I try to get about 6 hours on the weekend of my work time. There is always **** to do. She doesn't mind for the most part. I only get the evil eye when I come home after midnight. That rarely happens, but sometimes you just get into such a project that you don't even notice the time.
I would take my daughter out to the garage with me. I would move the cars out and put a garden hose half way across the driveway. Put her in her walker with the sunroof on top and some toys. I could not stay out there long but it was enough to get rid of the cabin fever from being in the house all day. Being outside always seem to help her sleep better also.
autoclassicnut
Well-known member
Was tougher when the kids were young and at home,but now that's where I head after coming home from work for at least an hour a night. Then in for dinner and back out unless she is up to a good "romp session".
Gotta make sure your woman is satisfied in all aspects, DVR recorder is great... then she can watch her recorded programs as I work in the shop.
Gotta make sure your woman is satisfied in all aspects, DVR recorder is great... then she can watch her recorded programs as I work in the shop.
harley rider
Active member
good advice DDAWG. my wife must be like yours. guys like us are the lucky ones.my wife recently bought a 1939 chevy for her street rod. I am expected to be in the shop. for some guys life is a ***** and they marry one too.
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GirlnAgarage
Well-known member
No convincing needed. I say 'I'll be in the garage' and he says, 'ok sweetie'. If he says 'I'll be in the garage' I say 'ok, don't mess up my tools'.
I don't know why some guys have such trouble with spouses. It's a shame individuals can't have time to themselves within the marriage.
Those with wives and kids also need to realize your wife needs adult time as well. If she spends all day with the kid I bet she would like your company for a little while for some adult conversations before you head out into the garage.
JC23
Well-known member
From a life a long time ago in a different galaxy...
Wife: "You went out four times last week!"
Me (racking my brains trying to remember where I went) "Where did I go when I went out four times last week?"
Wife: "You went out to the garage!"
Me (showing my usual compassion and sensitivity) "Oh yeah (insert head slap) I rented a F'ing TUX!!!"
That's why she's the EX.
New GF comes out to the garage, likes to sort fasteners and clean the bench.
Hope this helps! At the very least, it should entertain...
Wife: "You went out four times last week!"
Me (racking my brains trying to remember where I went) "Where did I go when I went out four times last week?"
Wife: "You went out to the garage!"
Me (showing my usual compassion and sensitivity) "Oh yeah (insert head slap) I rented a F'ing TUX!!!"
That's why she's the EX.
New GF comes out to the garage, likes to sort fasteners and clean the bench.
Hope this helps! At the very least, it should entertain...
zip95864
Well-known member
For me, my wife likes watching shows that I cant stand (Vampire Diaries, True blood, Next Top model); so I go to the garage when shes watching them. And after she goes to bed at 9pm.
I do a lot of projects around the house and sometimes I tell her, I need to go organize the garage because that's how & where your _________ get made.
I do a lot of projects around the house and sometimes I tell her, I need to go organize the garage because that's how & where your _________ get made.
Put another way: if you're having that argument, you've already lost that argument.
Wingnut65
Well-known member
Balance!
I make a point to spend time with my SO and she knows where to find me when she needs something. I do what she asks, when she asks - installing new wifi printer on her laptop, etc, and balance my time between the shop and the family. My girls are often out with me watching what I watch.
I make a point to spend time with my SO and she knows where to find me when she needs something. I do what she asks, when she asks - installing new wifi printer on her laptop, etc, and balance my time between the shop and the family. My girls are often out with me watching what I watch.
Cougar
Well-known member
Your wife has a street rod? Cool
Cougar
Well-known member
If I asked for permission to go to the garage.
Wife would probably say something like, wtf are you asking me for.
Wife would probably say something like, wtf are you asking me for.
My GF would come out and help me work around the garage
My wife came out and worked on her own car.
The mother of my son doesn't do this because on the rare occasion that she gets time to herself, she wants to relax.
They're all the same person, just different roles as time progresses.
wolflrv
Well-known member
I never have to ask to work in the garage...she considers it a chance to have "her" time in the house without me underfoot...LOL! She will come out and help with things if I need an extra hand and she usually checks on me every few hrs for a cup of coffee or glass of tea.
MyKingdom
Well-known member
ScaldedDog
Well-known member
This is easy: Just slap her on the **** and say, "How about it, honey?"
You'll have all the time you need.
In my case, I'm married to the finest woman in the world, and its just not an issue.
Mark
Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk
You'll have all the time you need.
In my case, I'm married to the finest woman in the world, and its just not an issue.
Mark
Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk
fergus
Well-known member
I say "I'm going out to the garage".
i hear yah man.. im going through the same things..
cept with a 1 year old.
Wife is back to work soon.
it'll be interesting to see how she does when the same thing happens to her.
my job is such that sometimes i travel for a few days..