new platform ladder and Wifey doesn't know

[NUTTSGT]

OP, what you bought was a tool and safety item. It'll allow you to safely do a home chore and save you from hiring somebody to do the job that you can do. That's how you sell it.

My wife never understood buying tools till I explained to her the cost of doing projects and buying tools to do the projects, actually saved us money, allowed our money to go farther. The best was having the tools for the next project.

I also explained the "breaking a borrowed tool" theory to her. I borrow a tool, break it and replace it. I get nothing out of it and I'm better off just buying the tool for myself.



I've got a line on a couple of ladders. They are step ladders and practically new, $600 worth through HD. I'm going to make an offer on them this week. Do I need them ? I have an 8 footer but this one is a Type 1A rated for 300lbs. There's also a bigger 12' version sitting beside it.

 

[Mr_fixit]

Who needs permission to buy a ladder ?

 

[muckdp]

I have a long time "partner" (unmarried), and we own a fair amount of property together. Any general purpose or automotive tools I would buy under normal circumstances, I buy with my own money. Any tools I need to buy that I'd only buy for the property we own together, OR if it's something I'm buying to save us money on a project, I buy with our shared account, which we auto-deposit money into each month for our various piles of expenses.

Example: 8 ft general purpose ladder, I buy. 38ft extension ladder to climb to the top of a 3 story building we own, I buy from the shared account.

General purpose M18 tools, I buy. Specialty 9" grinder with dust attachment, to level concrete when we did flooring, I bought from shared account.

It's all on the honor system. Medium-Large shared purchases (over ~$400'ish) usually get discussed, mostly for logistical reasons (ie: do we need to transfer more money this month?), but it's not really "permission". She trusts me to make good decisions... most of the time

Recently I bought a bunch of bolt bins, and I've spent nearly $1k on filling it up with bolts. I spent ~$300 from our shared account, and the other $700 from my account, since mostly I'm buying it as a luxury for my convenience.

I paid for the various pieces equipment I have (tractor, excavator, etc), we pay maintenance costs 50/50, and usually split attachment costs.

If we got married tomorrow, I imagine we'd keep the same setup.

 

[mwalsh9152]

Thank god I have no such issues with my wife. Up until 3 months ago, I have made all the money coming into the house, and handle 100% of all bills etc. She knows that I wont do anything stupid, so she doesnt question anything I buy. Aside from a car payment and the mortgage, I dont carry any other revolving debt. She knows that my tools, and mechanical skills have saved us far more money than I have spent on the tools.

She started a business a few months ago building and selling childrens outdoor play kitchens, but we are putting all that cash aside to put back into the business.

One thing that drives her crazy is when women say "I need to check with my husband" over the $200-400 purchase. I keep asking why I dont get to ok her purchases? (though, she would definitely come to me for something $400) As a result, I now will call her and jokingly give her **** about random trivial purchases on Amazon when I get alerts that something shipped.

 

[sawbuck]

wow living on the edge ...such a rebel !

 

[twistedstang]

I did the same thing last summer but it was a low mileage 2004 Mach 1 and not a ladder. She found out after 2 weeks.

 

[TEXACMAN]

I have been married 27 years. I don't lie about my purchases , It is a two way street though . If it is a large purchase I will discuss it but I just say I am buying this tool , vehicle or whatever , she trust me to not go crazy . I also have worked side work for years which paid for alot of my tools and larger purchases along with things we want to do etc...

 

[James-W]

My wife doesn't care when I buy tools because she knows that I use them to do projects that we would otherwise have to pay someone else to do. We have been married 49 years now and during that time she has used many of the tools we have. The two daughters are always coming over to the house and wanting to borrow a tool. When I buy tools these days, she doesn't even ask what the tools are for, she just figures I need it for something or other.

If I wanted to buy a REALLY expensive tool, like an $8K CNC router, that I would definitely talk over with my wife. But little stuff for a couple hundred dollars, I just go buy it.

 

[911TES]

I hand an invoice to my wife for all the major work I do around the house. The latest one was for $20,000 for all new fascia (220 ft.) around the house some of it 40+ ft. off the ground. $2,000 of materials and few tools and she’s okay.

The 18 station rotary Rotex punch for $3,000 - she’s not sure about that one, but it’s really nice !!!

 

[driftpin]

Haha....I needed an angle grinder the other day to start cutting my rebar. She asked "how much is that going to cost?" oh, around $50. What I didn't realize is that's for the cheap corded 5 amp grinders. I have a bunch of 20V Dewalt already, so it only made sense to by a Dewalt grinder, right? Of course it doesn't come with batteries. So, a new grinder and 2 new 5ah batteries was almost $400 She hasn't found out....yet.

Here's my old HFT 5 amp corded side grinder I bought new. I was cutting concrete and wire-lath/stucco when the commutator brush holder cracked in two and fell-apart. Two 3/4" faucet washers, a foot of baling wire, and a couple wraps of duct tape, and it looks like I saved $400!

 

[TuxThePenguin]

"want to have" + expensive (or cheap-unit-cost but high quantity) = discussion before purchasing

safety-related = no discussion necessary. Maybe a heads up.

IMO $100 isn't expensive for someone to feel it needs discussion, unless somebody is spending that amount of money rather frequently. Even $20 can add up if you keep spending that much over and over.

As far as ladders go, I just bought my first of the multi-use kind, an 18ft. Pretty cool ladder. Definitely a bit heavier than I was expecting, but still within manageable limits most of the time. Might be a little bit of a pain to lift and set up in a tight corner though. I got a Warner as it was on sale at Home Depot a few weeks ago.

I would kind of like to pick up a similar ladder to the one in the OP to have a lighter option. I have a similar ladder now, but old and in bad condition and I don't trust going beyond like the second step on it.

Haha....I needed an angle grinder the other day to start cutting my rebar. She asked "how much is that going to cost?" oh, around $50. What I didn't realize is that's for the cheap corded 5 amp grinders. I have a bunch of 20V Dewalt already, so it only made sense to by a Dewalt grinder, right? Of course it doesn't come with batteries. So, a new grinder and 2 new 5ah batteries was almost $400 She hasn't found out....yet.

This doesn't fly. It's one thing to want to spend $400 because you have $400 to spend. But this quote is all one giant excuse to buy a DeWalt grinder because you have DeWalt stuff already. But then you say you needed to buy batteries too? Your reasoning doesn't check out. It's circular. The fact that you have to BS about it says everything that needs to be said. This is like the one post in this thread where your wife probably SHOULD get upset, just because of the specific bad reasoning behind your decision.

It's honestly on the level of reasoning a 5-year-old would give their parents for doing something stupid. You'd literally be better off telling her you bought it "because you wanted it" than trying to feed her that story.

 

[The Other Sean]

I totally get the frustration - I've been there myself. It ***** working your *** off and having nothing to show for it. One of the best things Wife and I ever did was to sit down and wrote out a budget that included a provision for a certain amount of fun money for each of us to spend as we saw fit. If she wants to spend her money on shoes and makeup, that's fine by me. If I want to save up for several months and buy a new peashooter or tool, that's my prerogative. At the end of the day, we both stick to the budget and we're both open about our expenses.

This. Money was actually one of the first things my wife and I discussed when we first started dating. I had already been married once and wasn't going that way again. We have "our" money and we each have our own money. Twice a year we sit down and discuss finances and budget. Each payday we auto transfer our agreed upon amounts in to joint. Anything extra goes to our own pots. When I feel the need to buy bubble gum and baseball cards I do. she buys whatever. If it's a "house purchase" of anything more than about $100, we discuss it. I don't know or frankly care how much she does or doesn't have in her bucket.

 

[walrus]

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[TractorJeff]

My Wife noticed the bigger Compressor that has sat in the Garage for almost a year finally on Sunday when She walked in and saw me wiring it up! I could not keep a straight face trying to tell her its been there for almost a year waiting to get hooked up!

 

[KEH]

I have 200 gallon oil tank on a stand that I use to store diesel fuel. I don't use that much and have found a place that sells off road diesel fuel. I haul a few gallons at a time and have been climbing a low wooden ladder to pour the fuel into the tank. Ladder was rickety and I decided that I didn't need to fall of the ladder and a better ladder would be a good purchase. Found a Werner 6 foot stepladder old enough to be made in USA at the flea market and bought it for a reasonable price, maybe $40, a few years ago. Wife highly approved.

KEH

 

[glentre]

Every new project requires a new tool.............it's the law!

Glen

 

[Rodango]

Never give your wife a broom, as a 'gift'. Byt the same token, hope she doesn't give you a shovel you didn't need. As for buying a ladder...how do you really feel, isit an extravagance? Is there room for her to have extravagances too? Just askin"

 

[Slednut]

Being a auto restorer I probably buy a new tool or tool related stuff monthly, no one cares.

BTW I have a platform ladder, at work OSHA said it had to be destroyed, I took it and stored it in a shed at my rental. They asked me if I had taken it home and I said no.

The ladder is solid oak so it's on the heavy side but it is handy.

 

[Wrench97]

Being a auto restorer I probably buy a new tool or tool related stuff monthly, no one cares.

BTW I have a platform ladder, at work OSHA said it had to be destroyed, I took it and stored it in a shed at my rental. They asked me if I had taken it home and I said no.

The ladder is solid oak so it's on the heavy side but it is handy.

I get some of my best ladders that way

 

[toolmiser]

Buy two ladders and when she see's them, compromise and return one.

 

[BiggityBen]

my girlfriend (we have been dating for 4 years and we're closing on a house next month) understands me buying tools as a diesel generator technician by trade and DIY by home. but when i bought a ladder and a chainsaw a couple years ago to save a trip to my parents house to borrow their old, probably not so safe ones, she was enthusiastically on board. she believes all men should own some basic tools and know how to use them, and apparently chainsaws and ladders are in the category of things all men should own. however, when i upgraded all my hammers (except my Estwing claw hammers) to Mac tools Antivibe ones, she didn't get it. but didn't complain either. all 7 of them have been monthly flyer deals, she understands i paid "closer" to what they're really worth vs "sticker price" on the truck.

we both make about the same money, she usually averages about $3k/year more.

that said, i haven't, and wouldn't, actually hide a purchase from her. i generally don't tell her the prices of things i buy and she knows they're more expensive than she'd guess but all our bills are always paid and we're not going hungry. deception in a relationship is never going to end well, even if here is where it stops.

she also comes from a family of alcoholics and her brother is a drug addict. knowing i spend all my money on tools, equipment, and materials is probably something that gives her a good deal of comfort. could be instead a huge bar tab with the boys!