Nosey neighbors

[Hobby_Man22]

What do you do about nosey neighbors? My neighbor is cool, but he tends to poke his head into things at the wrong time I guess. Like I'd prefer the neighbors not know that I'm building another metal building on my property, not that it really matters I guess. I don't think they can go to the city and object to it, but my neighbor strolls up when I'm showing the engineer where I want to put it so he can draw up a drainage plan etc and I'm not good at making stuff up on the fly, so I came out and said it and he's all like what are you using it for, why do you need another one bla bla bla. I mean. I don't care they he chit chats with me when Im not trying to show someone what i want to do but this dude is charging me for his time and he's not out there to talk to the neighbor and he came out twice and was asking us a bunch of questions. Luckily I got all my questions answered still.

 

[ZRX61]

I would have told him "This guy is on the clock, ****** off"

 

[Metal-Marc]

I would have told him "This guy is on the clock, ****** off"

This, but a bit more on the diplomatic side.

 

[Hobby_Man22]

This, but a bit more on the diplomatic side.

I'm not good at that. lol

 

[nadogail]

You could try; "We are having a meeting right now. Can you come back after we are finished?

 

[Hobby_Man22]

You could try; "We are having a meeting right now. Can you come back after we are finished?

I was okay with the first time and told him what he wanted to know and the interaction really didn't take much more than a couple minutes, but it was when he came back a second time, that I was irritated and we were done by that time, but the engineer was like well I got to go pick up my wife and walked off.

 

[lkjk]

sounds like you need a fence

 

[ZRX61]

Talking of wives.....

 

[Hobby_Man22]

sounds like you need a fence

What I don't understand is that he wasn't even on his property. He sold that to someone else. lol

 

[James-W]

The neighbors around here are really wonderful and we all tend to help each other out when one of us needs help. For example, I have a key to the neighbors house, when they are going out of town they have me pick up their mail and check on their house from time to time to make sure everything is OK.

We all know pretty much what is going on with our neighbors and we watch out for "strange" things that might be going on in the neighborhood. It is kind of like a "neighborhood watch" and to my mind that is actually a good idea. For example, my next door neighbor went to Disney World with her son, they left on Friday and will be back home either tomorrow or Thursday. I made sure her trash container and recycle container got set out to the road for pickup on Monday. I also make sure the mail and/or packages are put up so nobody passing by would suspect she isn't home. I also watch her house to make sure nobody is prowling around. Basically, we all watch out for each other and I imagine some people would call that being nosy and maybe to an extent it is, but I also think the good that comes from it overshadows the bad.

 

[BukitCase]

This guy SOLD his right to know ANYTHING about you when he sold the property - people like that usually do NOT hear "nice" - I would tell (remind) him that he does NOT have a dog in this fight any more, and that he should go find himself a hobby that is NOT YOU... Steve

 

[rayra]

This, but a bit more on the diplomatic side.

Nah not much more on the diplomatic side. OP needs to better define his boundaries. Takes more than boundary fences to make good neighbors.

 

[Mikeske]

My lot is a old reclaimed pasture and it was what I was looking for that I bought into 23 and half years ago. since everything is wide open I can not hide what I do from the neighbors who all have tree shaded lots but it was not the style I like so a few trees were planted but the rest well I just left the way it was after I graded and leveled the high spots in the yard. This property already had a steel pole building but it was to short to house my RV along with a partially built log building.

I was always in the habit of not informing the neighbors but if they looked it was fine. I never told them I planned to tear down the partially built log cabin/barn I just bought it down because it was condemned by the county after we had a earthquake. The building site of the barn also interfered with my planned RV storage garage. I did learn very quickly to always have permits pulled so if the nosy neighbor wanted to raise a issue I just have the permit in hand.

Neighbors that go to far into my business find out really quick I will get mouthy with them and tell to pack sand as it is my property and I will do what I want as long as it legal to do it.

 

[gmcgeo]

Tell your contractor to bill the time he talked to your neighbor to him.

Not right he would charge you for that time anyway

 

[Kurt4440]

Talking of wives.....

Subtle.

 

[derek_m]

If what you're doing doesn't encroach on min. setback distances and falls into what the property is zoned for then its none of the neighbors business what you do. I would tell him that everything you do is not his business (politely, but make him aware that he is ******* you off).

 

[Metal-Marc]

I was okay with the first time and told him what he wanted to know and the interaction really didn't take much more than a couple minutes, but it was when he came back a second time, that I was irritated and we were done by that time, but the engineer was like well I got to go pick up my wife and walked off.

Don't get irritated by the neighbor. See, you allowed him to interrupt you the first time, so he came back to interrupt you some more. If you don't define boundaries don't expect others to respect you.

 

[ycgoat]

Fence,
Be rude anytime they try to to start a conversation such as yes or no answers and no real information,
Ask them nicely to stay out of your business,
yell at them "not now" when you see them coming.
or just deal with it.

Being rude or straight up invites a bad relationship with the neighbors, then you have nosy neighbors who don;t like you. Some people are fine with that.

I indulge my nosy neighbors when they approach, but am not a very social person so the interactions are typically short.

 

[DeeDubz]

Build a fence op. We must have the same neighbor. I hate to admit but Ive had to start being a **** to him. I think hes gotten the point he rarely bugs me now.

 

[Hobby_Man22]

Don't get irritated by the neighbor. See, you allowed him to interrupt you the first time, so he came back to interrupt you some more. If you don't define boundaries don't expect others to respect you.

The issue is how does he not see that I have someone Im showing stuff to and we went over and he told the neighbor who he was when he walked up. Maybe he didn't see it as an issue since this is probably how contractors pickup most of their business.

 

[Hobby_Man22]

It doesn't really matter though. I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill here.

 

[CSRPenFab]

"Good fences make good neighbors", Robert Frost, 1914.

 

[crewchief888]

6 ft privacy fence solved the nosy neighbor problems

 

[Zeke]

This, but a bit more on the diplomatic side.

I'm not good at that. lol

I think we see that in your quote above 2nd from top.

You're going to be better off in the long run simply ignoring the neighbor as much as possible. You'll have to say you're expecting a phone call, etc. ******* people off never pays dividends.

 

[rancherbill]

....another metal building on my property,
.....I don't think they can go to the city and object to it, ..

Have you checked the zoning of your property and permitted uses, and also the regulations regarding building permits etc?

I used to be on a development appeal board. Where I live I can have one 120 sq/ft building and one building up to 3000 sq/ft. If i want a third building I have to get a development permit. Your additional might not be allowed. Just because Billy-Bob down the road has one does not mean you can get one.

******* off neighbors, at this point, is not a good strategy.

 

[Hobby_Man22]

Have you checked the zoning of your property and permitted uses, and also the regulations regarding building permits etc?

I used to be on a development appeal board. Where I live I can have one 120 sq/ft building and one building up to 3000 sq/ft. If i want a third building I have to get a development permit. Your additional might not be allowed. Just because Billy-Bob down the road has one does not mean you can get one.

******* off neighbors, at this point, is not a good strategy.

Who said I was ******* off the neighbor? The neighbor came over as soon as the guy showed up beforen I even knew what the engineer had to say.

 

[FredWanaker]

maybe he knows you better than you think he does.

 

[NUTTSGT]

Leave the drama elsewhere guys.

 

[jhelrey]

My neighbor used to stop by and see what projects we were doing. He had to know everything going on at all times. He'd stand there and watch, not really talk. Finally I grabbed a shovel, handed it to him, and said... If you're going to just stand there, I'm putting you to work. He hasn't stopped by in 9 years.

 

[Leaflessshadetree]

I have always gotten along with my neighbors and talk to them regularly. I did have a nosy opinionated neighbor at a previous house. I probably would have told him it was for band practice or a new business I was starting (maybe a grow operation or homeless shelter).

 

[csp]

Leave the drama elsewhere guys.

Seems to be a perfect thread to move to chit chat, where it should have been from the beginning.

 

[zeke67]

Couple of comments. If he's the chatty type that doesn't "get" that you are talking to an official or a paid contractor, you can probably use a harder approach than you feel is appropriate. He is needing to hear it in a way that resonates to him.

I've got a neighbor at my vacation property that show up every time he hears construction noises. He is worried about setbacks, but he plays the chatty friendly, neighborly type. I really don't want to have beers with the guy, but I invite him for beers he never shows. I've clued in a couple of the contractors and they are more than happy to weigh in but sound nice and friendly. Stuff when I'm not around like "the home owner is worried about his trees, can you show me the boundary so we don't hurt any trees". Use your own version but you get the idea, stuff that makes the contractor sound like a pro and he gets to "play" the noisy neighbor.

 

[niget2002]

Is he being nosy, or is he just bored?

I'm pretty good friends with both of my neighbors. If we see each other out, we'll stop and talk. But sometimes, I notice that if I'm bored I'll start looking for someone to talk to. I try to catch myself when this happens so friendliness doesn't turn into a neusance.

 

[mepstein]

Be friendly but set the ground rules now or you will have to live with it. It's just like dogs and kids. They need to know the rules so they can follow them.

 

[Nick Danger]

"Good fences make good neighbors", Robert Frost, 1914.

Frost made it clear in the poem that he thought that the neighbor who said that was wrong.

He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.

 

[toolmiser]

I think you need to go with the flow. I hate to do things like build fences just for the neighbors. If your Ducks are in a row, you shouldn't have much concern. Sometimes you just have to be polite and tell them you are busy now, you will talk to them later. Maybe you need to hand them a shovel and say thanks for showing up to help, that will make most of them run!

 

[nadogail]

My neighbor used to stop by and see what projects we were doing. He had to know everything going on at all times. He'd stand there and watch, not really talk. Finally I grabbed a shovel, handed it to him, and said... If you're going to just stand there, I'm putting you to work. He hasn't stopped by in 9 years.

Something like this happened to me when I criticized how somebody who was working for my father was painting. He handed me the paint brush and I demonstrated what I was explaining. When the employee told my father about the incident, he said "To his credit he took the brush and did a pretty good job of doing the job right".

 

[67carl]

Frost made it clear in the poem that he thought that the neighbor who said that was wrong.

He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.

I would say the nosey neighbor is a cow, the property owner's business is the apples, and the cow wants it. Good place for a fence.

 

[isb cornbinder]

One of my neighbours made it his business to report me to the land use office in this city. He alleged that I was running a business in this very residential neighbourhood, I was not running a business.. His constant pestering of the city got him charged with mischief. This man has a problem with alcohol. Even though he stopped drinking several decades ago, the years of boozing continue to make him behave badly. I have been in traffic, several vehicles behind him. I have witnessed his road-rage on other drivers.
BTW, this nut-case lives about two blocks away.

 

[duneslider]

I have a nosy neighbor who doesn't bug me much but the guy behind me is always making up crazy stories he tells the nosy neighbor when he starts asking questions. I can hardly keep a straight face when the nosy neighbor comes and tells me what the guy is going to be doing.

"Do you think he is really going to start slaughtering pigs?" "He said he has to redo the kitchen because it was a meth house"