I am watching one of those hoarding shows, I think I see my future and I am a bit nervous. I want out, sooner rather than later. If it gets too bad I don't know how I can ever get out of the mess! I hate getting rid of tools, but I think I need to start, then I have to get rid of hardware. I hope next week I have more use of my arm, I NEED to get moving.
Spending so much time organizing things that really don't matter has been the story of my life, I know I am using it to cover up other things. It is easy to say this, but difficult to actually do something about it. My grandfather was the same way, my Father is probably worse than my Grandfather, so I know where I got my habits from.
Things that were important to me a few years ago seem stupid and very unimportant now. I know I need to concentrate on my health, both mental and physical. I look at all the stuff and I can tell you all the plans I had for it, now it is like I wasted all my efforts on storing things, like getting rid of it is giving up.
I hate having too much time to think, now I have four more weeks of it.
The mind is a monkey, learn how to tame it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/buddha-how-to-tame-your-m_b_945793.html
Every emotion that you are having, in the above post, is common to people who are dealing with hoarding tendencies.
Your feelings of loss are standard.
Your confusion about how much stuff, is the right amount to have, is also classic.
We just have to deal with these things. I have had to go through the same difficulties.
I have felt loss at almost everything I have had to toss because it was ruined or I didn't have a place for it or a use for it or even if I didn't like it in the first place. I felt a loss because I spent money on it. Or because I had to move it so many times before discarding it. Or because I didn't have the time to recoup money by selling it. I gave away my CB1000 motorcycle in exchange for $200 worth of labor and the guy disappeared. I feel the loss from that all the time. I carry all those losses around with me every day.
How much stuff to have?
I've had people on this forum tell me to get rid of everything. EVERYTHING! And that from tool hoarders themselves. Ridiculous. But I do have more than will fit in the available spaces, and the things all be usable. So I must tailor the stuff to the spaces. And they must be work spaces, not storage sheds. My mental gauge, of what is reasonable went haywire long ago, so I have to develop a new one. You will have to develop your own.
Take a pencil and a piece of paper and write down your life goals for the next 5, 10, 20 and 50 years. Then work it backwards. What do you have to do to reach each milestone? What physical, financial and time resources will be required fr each goal? It's like doing a project management timeline.
Certain things won't line up and won't be possible. This gets worse as you get older, and you have to let these things go, in order to focus on the things that CAN be accomplished.
This is a better train of thought than you may think.
Instead of considering these let go of items as being losses, consider them to be clearing the decks of clutter, so you can more easily get at the things you REALLY want to do. While you clear your life of physical clutter, you are clearing your mind of the burden of all these divergent and dead end paths.
You are freeing and focusing yourself. And you give yourself the chance to accomplish things.
Do you want to be a warehouse manager all the rest of your life?
I am in your same exact boat. You wouldn't believe the list of hopes and dreams I've discarded, or how much more particular I am becoming with what I will give myself to.
My goals are becoming clearer, and closer, the more I give up.
I haven't read your whole thread, so I don't know if you have ever stated your ultimate goals.
Doing so, make it real, and easier to slough off the drek, both physical and mental.
The Buddhists talk about living in the moment, but even more importantly, they talk about purposeful living. To me, this is about daily thinking about what is what. I'm not good at it yet. There are long periods of mental wandering, unconscious and as my mother used to say "head up and locked".
It's a way of avoiding facing things.
Our time is finite.
Our money is finite.
Our health is finite.
What will you spend these most valuable resources on?
Facing things means we have to look at the past, but attach no continuing blame to yourself from it. Simply learn from it and carry on, more able and knowledgeable.
Facing things means you have to make choices. Painful, but necessary. What it gives you is power and freedom. Power to take charge of your life. And the freedom from being a slave to the things you no longer value.
I'm at a point, where I am taking many many things out of the garage/shop and house. Useful things. Expensive things. But things that prevent me from doing what I really want to do.
Am I clearing it all out?
NO! But I am going to be getting rid of things I never thought would go. They must, to make room for things I need, to do what I want.
Am I going to be buying more things?
Yes! Particular things, planned for in advance. Things I need in order to make other things work, and so I can do what I want.
Don't give up now. You are doing well.
But keep reevaluating and adjusting, based on your more and more clearly focused goals.
You will get there.
But surprisingly the destination isn't a particularly cleared and cleaned and organized garage.
The destination is a mind, working on a daily basis, to read and adjust to your changing and emerging desires and needs.
Bill