Grunge Garage

[rickairmedic]

Yep its true I do and honestly if most of those who are on the WTF's wrong with you Bill bandwagon would watch just one episode of Hoarders they might just realize that there actually is something wrong with him . Bil has an illness that makes him think he needs all this stuff and until he is able to get profesional help with it no amount of teling him what an idiot he is is going to make alot of differance .


Also note How long I have been on this board and how many posts I have . I have only had a run in thus far with one other member and oddly enough he isnt a member any more .


Rick

 

[trbomax]

Yep its true I do and honestly if most of those who are on the WTF's wrong with you Bill bandwagon would watch just one episode of Hoarders they might just realize that there actually is something wrong with him . Bil has an illness that makes him think he needs all this stuff and until he is able to get profesional help with it no amount of teling him what an idiot he is is going to make alot of differance .


Also note How long I have been on this board and how many posts I have . I have only had a run in thus far with one other member and oddly enough he isnt a member any more .


Rick

Exactly! His stuff is his identity. Without it intact he has no feeling of self worth.Giveing him words of encouragement and praise for moveing stuff around enables him to feel better about it and himself while still hanging on to his stuff(identity)

 

[Phxphenom]

We can't solve this problem nor put a bandaid on it.....this will not have a happy ending unless Bill and his wife get help soon. Problem is, it can't be from us.

 

[RVDan]

many replies here are all the same, nagging Bill to accept the help thats offered.

Its a difficult thing to explain, but I will try.

You can't accept help until you have a plan. Right now, the place is far too overwhelming to have a plan. Yes there is a plan, sort, trash, and sell, but right now, the bulk of the sorting has to be done with the two of them, a stranger deciding what is valuable and what is not is unacceptable at this point.

Once they have a huge pile of trash ready to separated into metals, recycleables, and trash, and truckloads of useable but unneeded items ready to go to the local auction house, and the basement gutted ready for plumbing and electrical repairs, you can bet they will be calling on all your help.

Right now, they need to separate their valuables on their own.

As for the credit card debt and property taxes, there is plenty of scrap metal to be sold, plenty of unneeded items to auction off, and of course plenty of trailers to sell.

 

[NWphotog]

many replies here are all the same, nagging Bill to accept the help thats offered.

Its a difficult thing to explain, but I will try.

You can't accept help until you have a plan. Right now, the place is far too overwhelming to have a plan. Yes there is a plan, sort, trash, and sell, but right now, the bulk of the sorting has to be done with the two of them, a stranger deciding what is valuable and what is not is unacceptable at this point.

Once they have a huge pile of trash ready to separated into metals, recycleables, and trash, and truckloads of useable but unneeded items ready to go to the local auction house, and the basement gutted ready for plumbing and electrical repairs, you can bet they will be calling on all your help.

Right now, they need to separate their valuables on their own.

As for the credit card debt and property taxes, there is plenty of scrap metal to be sold, plenty of unneeded items to auction off, and of course plenty of trailers to sell.

+1. There's no point in getting mad at Bill for being a hoarder. And thinking he can just give control to some one else shows a lack of understanding of what hoarding is.

 

[markviii]

kirk.g and RVDan are on the right track as far as Bill and his wife are concerned. When I stay in B & Bs in England, Scotland and Italy or even at our friends' homes in those countries, their heating systems are not what we're use to here in the US. The land lady at our rented place in New Jersey keeps the thermostat at 50 degrees (warmer than some B & Bs I've stayed in!). We got an electric blanket and a space heater to be comfortable in the sleeping room and wrap up in an afghan while in the rest of the house. Showers are very short. At least she keeps the water heater at a decent temperature. We've been there 18 years, so the low temps didn't drive us away. There are ways to compensate.

Things may not be moving at Bill's as fast of some people would like to see, but there is forward progress and Julie is starting to actively participate. . Kevin54 is correct also that "there are only two that you know of". Bill has stated he has resources, but has not been specific on the thread.

I agree with kirk.g's observation that "There is no law that says you must have central heat and running water. Again its really Bill's decision...........This thread has become almost like a gossip session. " They are living in their home, making do with what they have. They know they have a mountain of work to do and seem ready to make progress on their own.

Personally, during my 34+ year high school teaching career I have seen people living in worse conditions. Their kids got to school every day and they maintained a "normal" public image (most of the time). I did frequent home visits, so knew what was behind the closed doors. And, no, DCFS did not take the children away - the families cooperated with counseling and were making some sort of progress on cleaning up their properties/lives.

The conditions are not what you or I would choose to live with, but not everyone is the same. Having "outsiders" arrange things to their liking won't erase the family problems long-term. Bill and Julie know this. They have given us some insight into their understanding of their troubles and the work they have to do to begin repairing the "essential" services. They have appreciated all the suggestions and prodding to get a move on it. That's what they're actively doing now.

I know lots of people who choose to camp outdoors or stay in unheated cabins all year. One of my friends lives in 100 acres of forest along the Susquehanna River in PA with no central heat - he has running water as long as he can keep the tap unfrozen. He's going into his 3rd winter there while he renovates the 200+ year old family home. Around here in IL, we even take our boy scouts on a winter "arctic" expedition for a week. Last one I did with my son was 15 years ago in January (he was 11). It was snowing (ended up at 6") as we arrived at the site. We had to set up the tents, find wood to build fires, then cook dinner. It would have been a bit easier if the boys hadn't decide to have a snowball fight (that good packing snow was just too enticing!). We had to get everyone dried off before they could cook dinner in their homemade pizza ovens. We made it through the 5 days of encampment.
It takes planning, cooperation, proper equipment/clothing/bedding and a personal resolve to get through it.

Bill and Julie have their work cut out for themselves and seem ready to tackle it. We may not won't hear much from them for a while. They have my support.

Chris

 

[NJHandyGuy]

i have been silently reading this thread trying to figure out what to make of it while i know a little something about hoarding i can see both sides. i can see why tony and brian are aggrivated and i can sorta see where bluesuede kevin bill and julie are coming from.

i would be infuriated to be tony but i can see (where bill's mind is although a bit skewed) i guess i am a selective hoarder (hell i have 8 storage lockers)

 

[rickairmedic]

Well, I've read about the for 7 pages of this and couldn't help but notice all the talk and no action.

I skipped to the rear of this thread and people still giving advice, quitting giving advice, offer help, etc. Obviously, you got issues, but you don't actually want to fix them.

I was hoping to skip to the back of this thread and see progress. All I see is more talk, no action and you not accepting help. I won't check in again.

You know Trooper we normally accept new guys around here and treat them like family . I will have to admit we do get one from time to time that frankly can go back to wherever they came from . " You meet the criteria " .


I will say again if you cant say something positive or relative STFU.



Rick

Well, thank you for leading by example rick, you should follow your own advice.

I don't feel I was insulting anyone, therefore, I won't apologize. Apologies come from the heart, not from someone telling you to. (Not specifically you rick)

I will say, I had no intention to offend anyone. At any rate, I stand by my first statement, and I did read the entire thread now.

This is a great site, and I'm not here to troll or argue. I think more action is required and less talk. I had no intention of checking on this thread again, except that I actually didn't read it all, so I started from the beginning.

Thanks for the welcome bczygan, keep working at it!

Careful! Ricairmedic likes to greet the new guys with a "STFU" if you are not saying something nice.

What Joe failed to notice is that I have been a member of this fine board for a long time actually back before it was " The Garage Journal " and Honestly I do my best to get along with and help any member I can .

Yes I do have a problem with " New Guys " walking in here half cocked and acting like an A$$hat . However I also realise that this fine board has an ignore option which I will be going to use as soon as I am done typing this as I do not wish to get banned from this site due to a new guy ******* me off so Joe dont know how long you will last here but it wont matter as here in a minute I wont be able to see your posts anyways . Bye now .


Rick

 

[vegar]

I have tried to resist posting on here again ,maybe its "obsessive compulsive" behavior.lol.......................But I remember back a few decades now,of staying in a bed and breakfast in the extreme north of Scotland a few miles south of Lands End.The bedroom was upstairs and the bedding must have been a foot thick.The place was freezing in the morning,it was late October.When we went downstairs the only place I could feel any heat was in the kitchen.So point being that the house had no central heat and that was not unusual at the time for many homes throughout the UK......As far as I know as recently as the mid 80,s half of the UK didnt have central heating...........So my point is if Bill wants to go without central heat then thats his business.He has gone at least one winter without it and survived........No water is inconvienient but he has a source(his neibhor) who he says doesnt mind giving him some.........There is no law that says you must have central heat and running water.Again its really Bill,s decision...........This thread has become almost like a gossip session.

Here in Norway it is not common to have central heating in houses, apartment buildings yes, but not in houses.
Now a days it is normal with a combination of heating in the floors (electric or hot water), wood fire place, electric owens and air-air heat exchanger

When i grew up in the 80thies we had only wood fire place and electric heating in the bathroom in my moms 100 year Ole house.

So it is doable, but not ideal

 

[GirlnAgarage]

What Joe failed to notice is that I have been a member of this fine board for a long time actually back before it was " The Garage Journal " and Honestly I do my best to get along with and help any member I can .

Yes I do have a problem with " New Guys " walking in here half cocked and acting like an A$$hat . However I also realise that this fine board has an ignore option which I will be going to use as soon as I am done typing this as I do not wish to get banned from this site due to a new guy ******* me off so Joe dont know how long you will last here but it wont matter as here in a minute I wont be able to see your posts anyways . Bye now .


Rick

Aw Rick, I was just about to post that you weren't partial to new guys in who you told to STFU

 

[custom1]

I have seen a few episodes of Hoarders. The other night A&E ran some back to back. I watched the one with the lady that had about 100,000 baby dolls and stuffed animals. All in all she wasn't too bad, but the other lady on that show was almost too much to watch. Basically living in the middle of a pile of her own feces. I don't know if anyone on here saw that one but man it was bad. At the beginning of the show they said there are over 3 million hoarders in the world.

Rick is right on. It is a mental block. In every case there seems to be some trigger in their past that makes them insecure without the stuff around them. It seems that no amount or yelling, screaming, insulting or rationalization will make them change.

Just the fact that Bill has asked for any sort of help is good. And if Julie is helping that is even better. BUT...Bill I don't think you have the time left to do it on your own. I don't know what happened in your and Julie's past to make you feel you need this wall of stuff and I don't expect you to share it on here. But you need to get some professional help and fast. You need to confront that demon head on and figure out why you feel this way. Yes you can probably get by with no heat and water. But come Feb it is all going to be gone. The Gov isn't going to let you decide what to keep and what to throw out. As others have said selling everything so you can to pay the taxes seems to be the first step. There is no reason to have stuff saved up for a future shop if there is no shop or house. ( ah I'm starting to rationalize and we know that doesn't work!)

It's very frustrating for all of us who want to see this fixed and can't help. We can't imagine living that way. If you want to do it yourself that's fine, but do it all the way(get help) not with these half measures and moving stuff around. Get to the bottom of the problem. Only you can do it.

John

 

[98TJ]

Rick is right on. It is a mental block. In every case there seems to be some trigger in their past that makes them insecure without the stuff around them. It seems that no amount or yelling, screaming, insulting or rationalization will make them change.

Just the fact that Bill has asked for any sort of help is good. And if Julie is helping that is even better. BUT...Bill I don't think you have the time left to do it on your own. I don't know what happened in your and Julie's past to make you feel you need this wall of stuff and I don't expect you to share it on here. But you need to get some professional help and fast. You need to confront that demon head on and figure out why you feel this way. Yes you can probably get by with no heat and water. But come Feb it is all going to be gone. The Gov isn't going to let you decide what to keep and what to throw out. As others have said selling everything so you can to pay the taxes seems to be the first step. There is no reason to have stuff saved up for a future shop if there is no shop or house. ( ah I'm starting to rationalize and we know that doesn't work!)

It's very frustrating for all of us who want to see this fixed and can't help. We can't imagine living that way. If you want to do it yourself that's fine, but do it all the way(get help) not with these half measures and moving stuff around. Get to the bottom of the problem. Only you can do it.

John

This. Exactly.

 

[couchmechanic]

My Mother used to say, "Love the sinner, Hate the sin."
Probably at rock bottom or near death most people will change their habbits.
You inspire people as well as piss them off. Good luck Bill!

 

[bczygan]

Just paid $1,500 toward taxes. It's a start.

 

[morfmedia]

Nice progres

 

[NWphotog]

Just paid $1,500 toward taxes. It's a start.

Yep!

 

[novaboy009]

Good start

Now go scrap some trailers and pay off some more. I was thinking, even if you just went down and scrapped a couple Apache trailers that's gotta be a couple hundred bucks right there. And really....... flooding the market with 20 of them and some of them being junk anyway doesn't make sense.

Kev

 

[moonpool145]

Good job Bill, its a start.

Anyone that can take the repeated public a$$ whoopin that you have and still come back to this site, has enough guts to make a permanent change in their life. Keep it up.

And might I say to the rest of you, keep pushing Bill hard

 

[GirlnAgarage]

That's a good step Bill. Keep going forward.

Do not make progress and then take two steps back! That s a bad pattern that you've repeated here. I'm pointing it out not to be rude but to hold you accountable.

You new people here jumping on those getting upset or frustrated ought to hold your tongues. If any of us was there in person this is how we'd react too. I don't think Bill has mentioned family or next of kin that they're working with. If they were involved you're darn right that they'd be unhappy and reacting the very same way many of us are. If he isn't held accountable by someone in real life, then this is the next best thing. Lots of people know Bill here on the forum and that's a decent tie. We'll hold him accountable.

We're not gonna coddle or enable. It's the flat out truth about what Bill and Julie have to do in order to get out of the situation. Obviously they can't quite find the way on their own or else they wouldn't have ended up like this.

Bill you get a lot of credit and a lot of respect for stepping up and recognizing things must change. Admitting there is a problem is huge step. Working on things to start clearing OUT stuff, that is good. We're still pulling that more gets done because the situation got serious when you told us about the utilities and taxes due. You're in condition red right there. There isn't any more time for small steps. Big giant leaps must be done or you will not make deadlines.

Hang n there Bill. Get it done. We're all on your side but we won't all be easy about it.

 

[Nighttrain]

Just got our tax bill in the mail yesterday. $6K also due by Feb. Would be nice to put that $$$ into the garage but will pay it by 31 Dec to get it on our tax roll this year.

As moon pool said you are getting a good old *** whopin on here! Keep up the fight Bill, only you and Julie can win this fight.

 

[Phxphenom]

Hopefully you were just pointing folks out to great deals yesterday but were NOT actually buying:

http://www.garagejournal.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1832322#post1832322

 

[bczygan]

Hopefully you were just pointing folks out to great deals yesterday but were NOT actually buying:

http://www.garagejournal.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1832322#post1832322

My wife thinks it is impossible to window shop, but I disagree. Went in to use the bathroom and looked around.

And those pounding on me the hardest...........I appreciate it. I know you care. The opposite of caring is neglect. Thank you for not neglecting me!

 

[rickairmedic]

Bill good to hear your working down that tax bill and that you were able to window shop without bringing home a window . Still pulling for you down here buddy .

Rick

 

[GirlnAgarage]

My wife thinks it is impossible to window shop, but I disagree. Went in to use the bathroom and looked around.

And those pounding on me the hardest...........I appreciate it. I know you care. The opposite of caring is neglect. Thank you for not neglecting me!

 

[hotrodjeep]

Just checking in again, no neglect here Bill ... and Mrs. Bill.

Jeff

 

[Coyote Red]

What.

A.

Thread.



And Rich and Chris, ya'll are alright.

Ediot: Not Rich, Rick, the air medic/hvac man.

 

[TrooperJoe73]

My wife thinks it's impossible to speak more than 4 languages. I told her, 'I don't think you're really applying yourself, like your sister'!

She didn't receive it as motivation.

My wife thinks it is impossible to window shop, but I disagree. Went in to use the bathroom and looked around.

And those pounding on me the hardest...........I appreciate it. I know you care. The opposite of caring is neglect. Thank you for not neglecting me!

 

[mithrix]

Wow... what a rollercoaster ride this thread is. I spent a better part of (ok, ALL of) yesterday trying to completely get through this.

Bill - Don't EVER give up. You'll have to trudge harder to get out of the situation. It IS possible, and you both have started that journey. You and Julie work on yourselves and work together to get the help needed for the other. The sooner you can do this, the sooner you can open up to other outside help. You ARE on the tight track. I sincerely pray that this is the turning point for the better for you both. You both have yet another person that is behind you. But, as others have said... Things really need to get into high gear. It's not a command or order, it's an ernest plea. These people here are investing themselves into you as they would a friend or family member. No pressure, but you and your wife are the only ones who can get a grip to make your life what you both have envisioned.

To Tony and Brian - You are to be commended to opening yourselves up to assist in person. It's clear to me the impact the situation has made on you both. I hope that Bill does what he needs to do, and that if he does need help in the future not only are you both still open to it, but that you'll both find they are serious and have made some extreme progress. That said, if a contribution is needed, modest as it may be, I'm in. This goes for anything the board as a whole can pitch in and do. However, I will not be a direct enabler and have any contribution used for other purposes.

Bill - One last note. Several have offered and are ready to put their words into action. Including myself. I hope you'll put your words and this thread into action. I believe it was Bull that said "This could be epic". It can be. You have already made the baby steps, now lets see you take some manly steps and move forward with "reclaiming my garage, my home, my mind, my life!"


Sincere Regards,
-C

 

[Phxphenom]

Do we have any Psychologists on this thread? Any Professional Social Workers? Seriously!

 

[BlueSuedeShoe]

Do you have to pay 6000 to 7000 Dollars on property taxes? Every year?

 

[tinbender 66]

Do you have to pay 6000 to 7000 Dollars on property taxes? Every year?

If you get behind the penalties and interest can double (at least) what you owe. Makes it hard to catch up. I had to do it once in the past.

 

[TXNinAZ]

As annoying as it can be, escrow accounts are nice- I just pay my property taxes with my mortgage payment every month, and this year got a refund from the state because my escrow account overpaid. That was a nice surprise!

 

[GirlnAgarage]

As annoying as it can be, escrow accounts are nice- I just pay my property taxes with my mortgage payment every month, and this year got a refund from the state because my escrow account overpaid. That was a nice surprise!

That's the way we do it too for taxes and insurance. It's nice not to get stuck with a big lump sum all at once.

 

[bczygan]

That's the way we do it too for taxes and insurance. It's nice not to get stuck with a big lump sum all at once.

Ahhhh, if we only had a mortgage payment........

 

[GirlnAgarage]

lol I think we have like 1,896,956 years to go. haha jk We're looking at ~13yrs now. It's our first house. Up until this point we rented - Go Navy!

 

[Bull]

Do you have to pay 6000 to 7000 Dollars on property taxes? Every year?

I do, yes.

 

[Need4racin]

Do you have to pay 6000 to 7000 Dollars on property taxes? Every year?

Texas property taxes are outrageous. Usually a home valued at 160k on 15% of an acre in city limits will have property taxes for 6000-6500 per yr.

 

[Need4racin]

Ahhhh, if we only had a mortgage payment........

See you don't know how lucky you're Bill. IMO anyone who puts property taxes on their mortgage is a *******. Why the hell would you want to pay interest for 15-30 yrs on your annual taxes. Oh well someone has to make these bank's ceo 200+ million a year.

 

[rlwhitetr3b]

need4racin - I don't think you understand how an escrow account works.

 

[JSBriggs]

See you don't know how lucky you're Bill. IMO anyone who puts property taxes on their mortgage is a *******. Why the hell would you want to pay interest for 15-30 yrs on your annual taxes. Oh well someone has to make these bank's ceo 200+ million a year.

Thats not how an impound account works. You cant "put property taxes on a mortgage" It is essentially a calculated savings account that you pay into monthly at the same time you make a mortgage payment. When taxes and or insurance payments are due, the payments come out of that account.

Even without a mortgage, you can do the same thing, take your tax amount, divide it by 12, and put that much into savings each month.

-Jeff