Mea culpa: As seen in some of my photos (despite heavy cropping) I suffer from Horizontal Surface Disorder - also known as Flat Surface Syndrome - a condition characterized by habitual sprawling of materials and tools over any and all available horizontal surfaces. Most days, I consider it more a proclivity than a defect - one side of a triangular continuum, analogous to ectomorph/mesomorph/endomorph body-types or fascist/democratic/communist goverments.
The other two extreme proclivities are hanger/shelvers and drawer/bin-jammers. Close-kin to sprawlers are heapers, and less so, stackers (I think they are really jammers who lack bins). Like most conditions, it becomes a disease when it inhibits accomplishing the associated task (making something, finding something).
I know I am not alone. My first year in my current job, I took over a workspace from a veteran sprawler. I drew curious surprise from some of my coworkers (who expected me to “clean it up”) by simply depositing my own new layer over the retiree’s decades-deep strata. I somtimes amused myself with small archeaological excavations, but I knew from the start, it wasn’t going to be my permanent space.
This in mind, I hit upon the idea of a wall plaque: no horizontal space required! Just a nail in a wall. My kind and the hanger- varieties of hanger-shelvers will know what to do with it (though they may not have room on their walls). I admit, pure shelvers and drawer/bin-jammers may be less appreciative.
Next, what size? I figured I’d be shipping it, so I chose the internal inches of the USPS Regional Rate Box A (10.9375x2.375x12.8125) as my maximum diminsions. The Flat Rate Medium and standard Mailing Box are just a bit roomier, so I’ll have three options, depending on distance.
What materials?
I have a decent amount of hoarded clutter of all types, but my favorite is wood. Seemed logical for a plaque, too. Most of it is salvaged, and I know the origin. I have little doubt the hard/rock/sugar-maple and red oak grew right here in Penn’s Woods. (I saw plenty more growing where I’ve been hunting the past few weekends.)
The maple I saved from a dumpster when the local perennial district champion high school replaced the basketball court (this was installed in 1992, so it probably had two decades of trophy experience).
The oak plank came from a custom cabinet and I planed a wavy-grained strip I cut from a shop-made typing desk into the two octagonal pillars (to reflect the posting skills).
I did the lettering with a utility knife and chisels. The black accenting is broken 75RPM records (from the curb) dissolved in alcohol.
Needed a medalion for Garage Journal bling, but I was not pleased with the hammered look I was getting, so switched to lighter aluminum repoussé. (I hummed
L'estasi dell'oro while working on it, to add heavy Metallica cred.)
If I do something similar in the future, I will do the reverse-image carving in end-grain, and keep the relief lower; my first two tries resulted in the aluminum failing.
Third time’s a charm, though.
Back-filled with JBWeld and accented with Rustoleum.
So there you have it: The Garage Journal 2020 Picker of the Year trophy. I’ll get the list of nominees narrowed down to ten soon, and YOU will vote for the winner.